Escape: Through the Fourth Wall

1: Mandatory Flashbacks

"Paladin! Paladin!" My hero name rings out through the throng of people gathered to listen to me speak. I raise a gloved hand to get them to quiet down.

Deep breaths, Jack. In. Out. In. Out. 

Okay.

"Citizens of this city- I know that most, if not all of you, have great respect for me. What I am about to tell you right now may change all that." I start as cautiously as possible, my fake extra-masculine voice ringing out courtesy The City Square's podium mics.

A wave of murmurs. I scan the crowd for signs of anyone who may actually know (or care) about what I'm about to say.

"But that's fine. That is, as long as you believe me." The four men in black suits with futuristic guns around the stage start looking suspicious.

Oh, well. Here goes everything.

"We're not real."

***

Wait, is this the beginning of the book? How annoying. I suppose this was intended to be one of those novels where the main characters' pasts are slowly revealed so that the reader doesn't understand jack until the last chapter, where the suspense ultimately builds up.

Let's finish off those mandatory flashbacks right now, shall we?

It all started almost ten years ago.

Elementary school sucked. This was probably due to the small fact that I got bullied a lot. I was called a freak, the odd one out, regularly tripped when I'd be walking, head down, minding my own business. It was mostly one guy's fault- the best part is I never even knew his name. I would totally chuck him into the stratosphere now if it wasn't for that one detail.

I'll just call him 'B'. Ya know, for bully.

Where was I? Right, elementary school. So B and his gang of 8-year-olds would catch me and nab my lunch money every day. On the days I didn't have it, I'd get a lovely bunch of knuckle sandwiches, and if I had any real food, I'd have to say my goodbyes to that as well. And don't even try to tell me that I should've done the 'smart' thing and complained to fed-up teachers, or my constantly-bickering parents, or any other adults who didn't give a flying shizz. I was young, but not stupid. One round of hugs, rainbows and sunshine per day was more than enough, and I didn't want to ask for more.

So this dreaded routine had been going on for almost a month from what I remember, until one day, I met a girl.

She was being bullied by my dear friends, the bullies, in the middle of the cafeteria. Geez, people, what did you expect? 

And they weren't taking money from her or anything. Their leader was punching her. In the ribs. On the floor. 

"What are you doing?!" I yelled at him.

"Stay out of this, Jackie," he smirked. "She got what she was asking for."

"How could you do this? What is wrong with you?!" Okay, maybe I was a little stupid for provoking six boys I shouldn't have had a chance against, but at least my heart was in the right place.

 He rubbed the back of his ear with a finger, looked at it in disgust, flicked whatever was on it at one of his cronies who proceeded to say "Ew" with the least expression humanly possible, and asked me a question I probably should have thought of earlier- 

"You got five bucks?"

My eye twitched. Something inside me snapped.

"I'm not giving you anything ever again!" I shouted, which would normally be more stupid than all of his gang put together, and then swung my fist right at his face.