Relive your memories ( bnha fanfic ) ( Kinda DekuBowl )

Villains

// this has been heavily edited, so was the last chapter, I heavily recommend reading the previous chapter to get a better whiff of what's going on, specifically the part where Katsuki showed up, that's all thanks

Izuku woke up feeling okay, he was fine, he's telling himself that he's fine, okay he's not fine he's been trying to avoid Katsuki for these past few days- past few months, what did he think he would achieve running away from his problems? Now Shinso, his only friend is involved, he feels horrible, he rushed to the bathroom and started vomiting even though he knows he didn't eat dinner, the moment he stepped inside his home guilt started to eat him up

He... there's no way he's ever fit to become a hero, he can't even be a useful friend, he's still a quirkless loser, as always he's going to be sucking and leeching off amazing people with quirks like always, why don't you just die Deku? Why not just kill yourself? Why not jump off a building?

Right, you have a quirk, you know you can quit your life anytime you die, you could've done that the week before but you're a fucking useless tool, now if you die Shinso will be fucking devastated, your mom will be devastated, you can't kill yourself because now there's a second person going to his funeral aside from his mom

Why didn't he [ Quit ] before? Why was he so fucking useless?

He sighed and took a scalding shower for punishment, he snorted at himself when he got out, he looked like a fucking crab, a disgusting piece of rotten crab that even a run down rotten shop wouldn't serve, he brushed his teeth and wore his uniform

He asked his mom if he can just pack his breakfast along with his lunch, his mother looked at him worriedly but she nodded, Izuku knows she's stressed, he knows he's the cause of her stress, but he can't just change, he doesn't know how to, he's a useless son who can't even die

He kissed her goodbye and left, at the train station Izuku was so fucking tempted to just jump and die but he didn't because he's a stupid coward

He got off and walked his way to UA, and all the way to his classroom, he noticed that Shinso wasn't there, heavy doubt lays in Izuku's mind as he ran his head through what might've happened, what if Shinso fell of the train the second time he rode on it because of some villain attack? Wait no Izuku stalks heroes forums like he needs it to live, that can't be right, but what if it wasn't released on public?

A thousand thoughts littered Izuku's mind, his classmates started to pour in and at the start of homeroom, it's pretty apparent that Shinso isn't going to show up, Izuku feels horrible, a feeling of dread crawling in his stomach yet he hid it as much as he can, he smiled so much and tried to participate as much as he can in classes, his teachers are even impressed

He needs to do anything to keep his mind running, to keep the dreadful thoughts away, suddenly in the middle of class his teacher was gone, no more class participations, no material to over think, what's he gonna do? He wanted to end it all so badly but he doesn't have a reason to kill himself just yet, it annoys him, he knows he can just do it but his guilty conscience keeps on pushing him away from it, he felt like crying, actually he's pretty sure he's already crying

Suddenly the class president burst in and delivers news

Finally

Finally a reason to feel pain again, pain he knows he deserves, with the cutter he got from his bag Izuku pressed it against his chest and pushed