Better off without him

Chapter 15 - Harper

I was going to kill Lex. I don't know what he was up to but inviting Xavier to escort me to his next fight overseas like some bratty child was just despicable. After his little announcement I tried to act as civilised as I could be with him in front of Xavier but my patience was starting to waver.

After dessert I saw that Tristan was starting to doze off so I asked if we could set the bill and leave so I could take him home and put him to bed.

I went to grab Tristan who could barely keep his eyes open from his high chair and as soon as I had bent over to do just that I felt someone's presence behind me. I turned around suddenly and saw that it was Xavier who was looking over his shoulder glaring at who knows who or what. I chose to ignore it when Tristan's little yawn snapped me back to the task at hand.

"I'm tired aunt Harper," Tristan asked around a yawn."

"I know you are little man, just sleep and I'll get you home and into bed," I cooed as I unbuckled him and held him to my front with his head on my shoulder. I stood up and turned around only to have Xavier take him from me.

"He's too heavy for you. I got him," Xavier announced.

I nodded and the next thing I knew, he placed his free hand around my waist and started ushering us out of the restaurant. I didn't know what's been up with Xavier because he's been acting weird all night but I was too tired to argue.

We made it back to the car and Xavier buckled Tristan in to his car seat while Lex and I buckled ourselves in. Xavier got in and we drove home in silence so that Tristan could have a good rest.

We made it home in no time and Xavier carried Tristan into the house and walked straight into my bedroom like it had been something he's been doing for years. I set out a spot for Tristan against the wall on the bed and put a pillow fortress around him in case he rolled out, covered him and placed a quick peck on his cheek. I manoeuvred myself off of the bed so not to wake him and felt a pair of my hands go around my waist to steady me as I stood up.

Thinking it was Lex behind me I leant into the person and let out a breath.

"I'm still angry at you Lex, but you're leaving tomorrow and I don't want to ruin your last night here," I said as Lex rubbed his hands up and down my forearms.

"It's not Lex," Xavier whispered and I immediately pulled myself out of his hold and turned in his direction. "I didn't mean to startle you, you just looked so tired," Xavier answered looking lost as he stared at me with a weird expression on his face.

"I'm sorry I threw myself at you, I thought you were Lex."

"I figured as much."

He was quiet as he stood staring at me waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say to him. I've learned from past experience that whenever I speak out of turn, I'm either ignored or scolded and I did not want to wake Tristan up. He's had a busy day and it was way past his bedtime.

Xavier finally broke the silence, "I don't know how to say this but I'm really sorry for the way that I've treated you the last couple of months. It's been wrong of me to judge you as harshly as I have and for that I hope you can forgive me. I know it won't be easy for you to do that because there's so many things I've said and done that have been hurtful towards you and I cannot apologise enough. I was hoping that we could maybe start again."

I was stunned. Never in a million years would I have thought that Xavier would apologise for his behaviour, let alone ask if we could start afresh, but as I looked back at all he's said and done I didn't know if I could forgive him. I didn't know whether he was being serious or not and I think I have made a fool of myself more than enough times in front of him. Why would he apologise now when he's had more than eight months to do so? Is this some kind of cruel joke that he's playing? Make me believe that he's actually sorry and then laugh in my face.

Xavier distracted me from my internal debate when I felt a hand stroke my cheek. I flinched immediately at the move because the last time he did that was on Christmas when he maliciously told me that he had me for secret Santa and didn't get me anything. He went on to tell me that money hungry vultures like me didn't deserve to be pampered on a special day like Christmas and that I should sit in the corner where I belonged. I felt tears come to my eyes when I remembered the encounter because the look in his eyes told me that he honestly believed that I was friends with his family for their money.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Xavier asked, once again rubbing my cheek.

I swiped angrily at the tear that had slipped down.

"I'm sorry too," I whispered not quite able to look at him and let him see how much he's actually hurt me.

"What? What the hell have you got to be sorry for? You've done nothing wrong," He said in exasperation.

"Haven't I? Wasn't it you who told me just last week that I'm never going to amount to anything. That I wasn't pretty enough to catch anyone's attention and that I'll die lonely because no man could love someone as plain faced and selfish as me. That I'll always be the poor girl that takes handouts from everyone and give them nothing in return. Wasn't it you that said that it's no wonder why my own family chooses not to visit me. That my only chance at survival was to prey on good hearted people like your parents," I said in a voice devoid of any emotion.

I was sick and tired of his constant mood swings. Not knowing whether he was being sincere or not had me so confused and I hated it. He's voiced every insecurity that I've felt my entire life and made me believe them and made me believe every single one of them.

He took a step towards me again and I took two steps away from him.

"Hey Harper, look at me. I'm a fucking idiot to have said those vile things to you and I truly am sorry. You're not plain and selfish Harper and I see that now. Any guy would be lucky to have you," he continued but I wasn't having many of it.

"I think you should leave Xavier, you've had too much to drink tonight," I stated looking at my hands.

"I haven't had anything to drink and you know that Harper. I will leave but not before telling you one more time that I am sorry for ever making you feel the way that you do. I just hope that you give me a chance to prove to you that we can be friends one day. Goodnight."

I watched Xavier's retreating back wondering if he did deserve an opportunity to mend the relationship that we have right now. But all I could think about was the hundred times that I tried to be his friend only to ignored and treated like complete crap.

All this thinking was giving me a headache so I just dressed into my pyjamas and looked for Lex. I found him sitting in the living room with Xavier.

I made my way over to him and he immediately opened his arms for me and I snuggled beside him enjoying his warmth.

"How are you sweetheart?"

"I'm good, just tired. I'm really going to miss having you around Lex. It's been the best last couple of days that I've had in a long time."

"I'm going to miss you too but I'll be seeing you in a few weeks time. I promise I'll come back and stay longer when you're back at your own place," Lex said smiling widely at me.

"Okay," I whispered as I snuggled into Lex.

Throughout our entire interaction I could feel Xavier's eyes boring into me but chose to ignore it. The two men continued their conversation as I felt a heaviness in my eyes.

It wasn't until I felt myself being carried that I knew I had fallen asleep.

"Go back to sleep Harp," Lex whispered in my ear.

"Make sure you wake me up to say goodbye before you leave okay," I made him promise.

"I will, now get your pretty little butt to bed."