Raising a Sparkling Together (And Apart)

The Aftermath

Breakdown wouldn't leave his berthroom and the only people allowed in were Knockout and Paradox. Knockout was allowed in since it was his room too, and Paradox because he needed her.

He needed her innocent little smile and happy giggles as he held her close. He needed to hear her chirp and gurgle about her day while mumbling "Sire" to him as if she knew he was in pain and needed comfort. He needed to feel her small servos on his faceplate, digits dancing over his eye patch like little gusts of wind. He needed to feel her be close because he needed to know he was alive. That he was indeed still on this planet with his family.

It didn't take long after realizing that when he invited Knockout to join in their all-day cuddle fest. When Knockout got the message from him, he instantly dropped everything and ran to their berthroom. For a few moments, Knockout did nothing but stare at his sparkmate. The bond they shared was still closed off, probably for his own sake.

Knockout felt tears in his eyes as he looked down at his family. His little Paradox staring at him while being held tightly to his Conjux's sparkchamber. He wanted to cry. He wanted to ball his optics out at the way his sparkmate was found, the way he collapsed when he held them, the way the Autobots gave them pity.

He wanted to cry, so he did.

Knockout felt the tears roll down his faceplate as he took a few steps towards the berth. Breakdown sat up, set Paradox down, and held his arms out. Knockout collapsed into them and held his Conjux tightly.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, his voice cracking as he did so. "I should have been there, I should have helped you somehow—"

Breakdown cut him off by pulling away and resting his helm against Knockout's. "If you had been there, they might have taken you instead. And the roles would have simply been reversed. I could never live with myself if you got hurt on my account."

Knockout took a shaky breath in and looked at his sparkmate with hard eyes. "Then how am I supposed to live with you getting hurt on mine."

"I wasn't hurt on your account," Breakdown argued, holding Knockout closer. "You weren't there."

"But I should have been there!" Knockout argued while pushing away from Breakdown. "I should have been there to protect you! Now you're missing an optic and in so much pain. Breakdown, they ripped open your chassis and played with your spark for Primus' sake!"

"You think I don't know that!?" Breakdown yelled, and Knockout could feel his walls crashing down and their bond open again. All Knockout could feel was the pain. Mental and physical. "Do you think I managed to just forget what they did to me? What they planned on doing? They were going to do so much more than learn how our sparks work, Knockout. They weren't experimenting for fun, they were doing this to learn what makes us tick. Where we're sensitive and where it hurts most." Breakdown took a deep breath and looked down, down at Paradox who looked up with concerned optics. "I just gave them all the information they need to kill us," he whispered. "They know how to kill you, how to kill me." He paused to breath in a shaky breath and looked back at Knockout. "They know how to kill Paradox, Knockout. And I gave them that power."

Knockout gasped in shock and quickly pulled his Conjux to his chassis. "No, you did not give those vile creatures anything! Giving means to willingly hand over. They forced it from you like animals!" Knockout pulled back and looked straight at Breakdown, tears in his eyes. "You. Did. Not. Give. Them. Anything."

Breakdown smiled sadly before pulling Knockout into a tight hug, kissing the top of his helm gently. "Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for," Knockout replied simply, hugging his lover tight. "I just did what anyone would do."

"No, not just anyone." Breakdown paused to smile and rest his helm on Knockout's. "You did what a sparkmate would do, so thank you."

They both smiled to themselves before they were cut off by a loud gurgle of "Sire!" They both looked down and saw Paradox trying to stand on her own, wobbling as she walked towards them. Knockout smiled and reached out, pulling Paradox flush to his chassis. "Aw, did someone feel left out?" When Paradox pouted and rested her helm against her Carrier's chassis, he smiled. "Yeah, I would have too. It's okay."

Breakdown smiled, one of his firsts in a while, and wrapped his arm around Knockout, pulling him closer. He smiled down at Paradox who giggled back at him, reaching up and resting her small servos on his cheeks. Her digits moved up and fluttered over his eyepatch, but Breakdown did no move to stop her. He simply closed his remaining optic, relaxing into the innocently loving touch. She didn't understand what had happened, or where her Sire's glowing auburn optic had gone, but she didn't need to. Her Sire was her Sire, no matter what.

Knockout lent in a little bit, placing a small kiss on Paradox's helm and then Breakdown's derma. "I love you. Both of you."

Breakdown smiled and rested his helm against Knockout, taking a deep breath and smelling his new layer of polish and the leftovers of a buffer; his signature scent. Breakdown pulled him closer and kept Paradox tightly between them. "We love you too, Knockout."