Diary Of A Monster

The Devil's Minions (Chapter One)

AN: For those of you who do not know Collin(Which would be... All of you.(x), let me explain his unique writing style: He never explains his surroundings as far as in depth detail. He gives you the basics, he explains what is necessary. You all know that as an author, I love giving the details of every little thing-but Collin does not. I have to write as Collin would write, which is not bluntly but it is not very detailed to begin with. Until the story grows, his entries might be short, they will be some-what basic and of course, rage filled. This gives off the vibe of who Collin is, and it gives you, the readers, an opportunity to watch how one little thing changes everything. "To tame the beast which is raging, to calm the fire that is blazing." Enjoy! ~Lorki

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Chapter One

September 15th, 2012.

Dear Piss Book,

I would highly suggest you take a hike, get out of my life and get run over by some none environmentally safe Hummer. Like the dead tree that you are, no one wants you to be apart of anyone's life.

You would have been better used for the pilgrims back when they used leaves to wipe their ass.

For the person reading this, please note that I am not always like this. Scratch that, I am completely lying out my teeth.

I am always like this, always have been and will be for all of eternity.

If you happen to stumble upon this book and see that inside of its drawings are of people lit on fire, then maybe you have a right to be concerned about me.

The first time I was badly burnt by a person was when I was seven years old, and my parents thought it would be a grand idea to get me a babysitter so that they could go off and do “adult things”.

When I think back on it, my babysitter looked like Brittney Spears, talked like Carrie Underwood, but had boobs larger than Nicki Minaj.

I have a better understanding now as to why my mother felt unnerved by her, but my father was totally for it.

I was kind of neutral about it, her royal highness sat on her glittery cell phone for ninety percent of the time, leaving me alone to my blocks and dinosaurs.

She was the first person I never wanted to put a lighter to, other people like the doctor and the dentist had to fear for their life because I swear, once I get my hand on one, they are going up in flames.

Brittney Underaj always made me whatever I wanted, if I wanted gummy bear cereal for dinner, then that is what I always got-no questions asked.

It made me wonder if she was a few blades short of a Swiss Army Knife, but it wasn't long before I learned what her motive was.