HEDONISTIC

27. Frankie was walking home

Frankie was walking home on the pouring rain trying to breathe, her arms were tightly wrapped around her body trying to keep everything inside: trying to keep everything from falling out.

She felt like if she stopped doing that her heart would fall out of her bone made cage onto the dirty street making a goddamn mess that Tarantino would probably be proud of.

A mess that probably resembled the one inside her head because she was stupid and she had let that asshole in, she had let him made a home inside of her and all she could think about was soft curls, tired eyes and drunken thoughts.

She always knew that Matty was an asshole and there was nothing much to it.

He was an asshole, the problem was that he was a fucking hot asshole and Francis just had a thing for him. Frankie knew she should've probably kept her mouth shut but he made her feel so nice in his arms and he smelled like cologne and cigarettes and weed and something else, something warm.

She had never being good at keeping her mouth shut, she loved calling people out on their bullshit and she didn't care about political correctness or anything for the matter. It wasn't her fault that she felt things but in that moment walking home all she wanted was to not feel anything because goddamn it hurt.

Matty on the other side felt like an arse. He was replaying the conversation going over and over again in his head and thinking of all of the things that could have gone differently because the truth was that he didn't have to say those things to her.

He watched as her eyes completely change when he was those words to her, suddenly she looked like she had aged at least a decade but he didn't feel ashamed for his action because at the end he was 26. She was 16. They were just never made to be anything and he was honestly doing her a favor breaking her heart early on and he just hoped she was ok.

Of course she was.

She didn't care about him and she never had, at least she told herself that as she was sneaking back onto her room. It was just a thing of the moment, she was horny and he was there with money and a glamorous lifestyle that was really (if you looked in depth) quite sad.

She was ok at the end she had just known the guy for about a week and a half it wasn't like she loved him, she had just said that in the heat of the moment and he had freak out.

At the end of the day Louis was the hotter brother, so she just stopped thing about it at when back to bed after cleaning her tears and taking a Valium pill from her mothers cabinet.

-

Frankie woke up two minutes after the school bell rang for everyone to walk inside, she thought about not going cause at the end she would be late but then she started thinking about Matty and her thoughts and how she didn't want to be alone with them so she changed into her school uniform and walked down stairs heading to the kitchen.

She found the leftovers of a breakfast for two which was a bit odd but her questions were answered when she walked into the garden finding a shirtless Harry and her mom rollin around. She sigh.

She took a mug and placed the lukewarm black coffee looking for anything to keep her awake as she took the bus to school people giving her weird looks because who walks around London with a porcelain hello kitty mug.

She was sitting in the back seat being careful not wanting to drop her drink winced as she sipped her coffee - it was tepid, overly bitter and lacking real cream. It was a source of caffeine though and so she drank like a sailor new to whiskey.

And like that the week went by, she didn't think about Matty or at least she tried. Every time the thought of him came floating onto her mind she sent it right into the bottom of her subconscious with an anchor of drugs and a cocktail of anything that had alcohol and was in James' cabinet.

She had started seen James again and it made her feel at ease. He was something she knew and every time he fucked her she felt like she was back in LA by the coast with wind in her hair and salty water in her nostrils.

Friday came faster than she thought and she found herself at last period smoking cigarettes in the bathroom floor with Amber playing cards trading nail polish in the disabled bathroom.

"Fuck yeah!! I won" Amber exclaimed laughing. Frankie too. Both of them trying hardly not to be heard but also knowing that if a teacher found them they probably wouldn't  care they were used to this type of behavior coming from them it was a miracle that somehow Frankie had good grades.

"You cheated!" "No I didn't" "Liar! Liar! pants on fire!!" "Is that like an American thing?" Amber smiled "Maybe.. " Frankie muttered with a smile looking at the floor tides adding a "Fuck off"

Frankie's phone vibrated, she looked at the screen, it was James. She sigh.

"You wish it was him, don't you?"  Amber said playing with the yellow laces in her doc martens because even tho she wasn't emo anymore she was a firm believer that you can take the girl out of the doc martens but you can never take the doc martens out of the girl: it was an ideology.

Amber had this thing about her, she was like Yoda, the only difference what that she was cuter and less green. The pink haired 17 year old just knew everything about Francis without her needing to say a word.

"I guess I do" She confessed, the phone still echoing in the background like annoying elevator music. "It doesn't really matter, I fucked it up and said something stupid"

"Don't you find that kind of weird?" Amber said after a couple moments had passed. "Not really, what do you mean?" Frankie said confused.

"You're not much for talking, you are even less prone to say something stupid you always think before you talk, I guess it's kind of weird how everything changes with him"

They stayed like that forever- smoking, cards scared and lighters in the cold bathroom floor like dots on a treasure map.

"Yeah I guess, I have to go"