How to Write Stories People Will Love

Question 57: Breakups

SunflowerStella asks: Do you have any tips about writing recent break-ups and how sad they feel?

Breakups are hard. Two people who have been emotionally involved are now being ripped apart, and that's painful. The longer they've been involved, or the closer they were, the more difficult it is. Not all breakups are the same. Numerous factors affect how life feels after a breakup.

Involvement In Each Other's Lives

Maybe the couple takes the same classes, play on a team together, or work in the same office. Even after breakup, they still have these obligations. Seeing the other person could be a constant reminder of the failed relationship, and make it difficult to move on. Wounds can't heal when the knife keeps twisting.

Closeness

Some relationships are more tightly bonded than others. When two people are so used to confiding in each other, doing things together, or finishing each other's sentences, it feels really weird when the other person is no longer there. A walk through the park may feel lonely. The house may seem empty. The silence may be deafening. All this because they are just so used to having that other person walking with them, being with them, and talking.

Think about all the things these two people used to do together, and now suddenly they have to either do it alone, or not at all. Places they liked to hang out are now painful reminders. Maybe they end up trying to find new places to go that don't remind them of the other person.

Nature of the Breakup

Why did the couple break up? In the case of cheating, there will be more anger first. Because how dare they do that to them! Lots of rampaging with friends and stuff. Once the anger wears off, however, then the sadness can move in. They start thinking about why the cheating happened. Why weren't they good enough?

Conversely, if a couple drifts apart, there aren't a whole lot strong emotions involved. It may feel more tired than anything else. The couple likely wasn't communicating much, and began doing their own things all the time. The feelings of love have waned so much that maybe they don't even remember why they got together in the first place. There is sadness in this kind of breakup, but not the intense, cry-your-eyes-out kind. Maybe they feel like they wasted a big chunk of their lives, or maybe they're depressed that the person they are with doesn't fulfill them the way they should. Sometimes these breakups are a relief.

Friends

Breakups are extremely awkward for mutual friends. Some of them may feel the need to side with one or the other. Maybe the actions of friends could make things worse for the people breaking up. Maybe they all side with one, leaving the other bereft and even sadder than before. Without any support from friends, they might take it harder than most. Breakups don't only affect the couple, they affect the people directly around them.

Writing the Sadness

Be sure to review "Question 30: Making readers cry"  before you send your character off into fits of never-ending crying. Pay special attention to Steps 5 and 6 of that chapter. You want readers to sympathize, not roll their eyes.