Dornessiti (Hobbit Short Story)

Chapter 10

A timid knock sounded at Thorin's office door, snapping the dwarf from the slow stupor his toilsome work had put him under. Casting his eyes up from the lines of handwriting, his head began to pound with a dull persistent pain.
Ah, he thought, and there's the headache we've all been waiting for.
"Come in," he answered, shuffling papers and clearing his voice. To his surprise, it was Kili and not Dwalin that came through the door, frowning at his uncle.
"Do you know what time it is?" He demanded. Thorin winced at his harsh tone, his head ringing from the hours of searching through the birth records.
"Do you know what time it is?" Kili repeated, glaring harshly down at his uncle.
"No I do not," Thorin replied flatly, looking up at his nephew.
"You should've been home hours ago. When I left, Hazel was in tears, crying for you. And what are you doing? Damn paperwork!" Kili snapped.
"Lower your voice," grimace Thorin, barely able to hear over the ringing in his ears. The pain was getting sharper now, as if tiny dwarves were mining his brain with pickaxes.
"No I will not!" Yelled Kili "You need to go home to your daughter, not sit around reading dusty old books! She needs you uncle, she loves you!"
"Kili," Thorin growled warningly. Kili missed the message, a very Durin-like fury flaring up at his uncle's apparent lack of concern for his daughter.
"Don't you even care?!"
That was it. Thorin snapped.
"Itkit! (Shut up!)" He shouted in retaliation, his powerful voice quickly silencing the shrill yelling of his nephew. Kili stared straight at his uncle, fear building in his heart for the tongue lashing he was about to receive. Seeing his nephew shrink away from him, Thorin sighed, rubbing his temples in an attempt to dull the splitting headache.
"Enough, Kili," he said finally "No more shouting. I'm going to come back with you, it's high time I looked away from these 'dusty old books'. And yes, I do care about Hazel very much, she is my dornessiti after all."
"S-So you're not going to tell me off?" Asked the dwarfling, fearful of his uncle's legendary temper. Thorin shook his head and instantly regretted it, his vision blurring for a moment.
"I-I'm sorry uncle," Kili murmured, looking at his boots. Thorin got up from behind his desk, going over to his nephew and putting a hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay Kee, you were worried about her, that's all. Now let's see if we can't get home for bedtime hey?"
~<>~~~<>~
Dis sighed softly in relief as she heard the front door shut, two pairs of footsteps making their way into the house. She smiled at her brother as she met his apologetic gaze, hugging her son with the silent relief that he was home safe.
"D-Daddy?" Sniffled Hazel's little voice, looking up from Dis' shoulder.
"Daddy's home, princess," Thorin smiled comfortingly. Hazel's tear streaked face broke into a tiny smile, reaching for him with eager little hands. Thorin gently swept her up from his sister's arms, cocooning her in his embrace and kissing her forehead softly.
"I'm sorry princess," he said, smiling his way through the ringing pain in his head. Hazel just snuggled close to him, pressing her cheek against the soft fur of his coat.
"I-It's okay, d-daddy."
Thorin glanced up to his sister, who smiled sweetly.
"Sorry Dis, I'll keep an eye on the clock next time," he sighed. She gave a soft chuckle, shaking her head.
"Don't worry about it, just get the little one to bed," Dis smiled. Thorin hugged her one handed.
"Go home, namad (sister), I will see you tomorrow."
~<>~~~<>~
Once Hazel was abed, Thorin decided to go sleep himself. The headache from his work hadn't dulled for a moment. His head was pounding like a drum, blurring his sight and piercing his temples. He collapsed into his bed, kicking off his socks and throwing his shirt into some corner of the room. As he shut his eyes, a familiar feeling of dread gripped his heart. The peace he so desperately craved was going to be denied him again. It was going to be a long night.
~<>~~~<>~
A blood soaked battlefield. The screams of the dying mingling with those of the living. Metal clashing on metal completed the nightmarish cacophony, drowning the senses of all among it. For a moment he saw her, her blue cloak flying about her like wings as she spun and slashed, dancing with her twin blades. Frerin was close by, his helm strapped tightly about his head, un-dented and whole; a strange contrast to his battered and rent armour. The loss of his grandfather still ran in rage through Thorin's veins, turning his blood to fire as red mist descended into his vision. His new shield was cumbersome yet effective, as useful for blocking the enemies blows as it was as a rudimentary weapon. Blood splattered the dwarf prince's face, though he was unable to tell if it was his own or his enemies. He was numb with battle rage, one with his blade, never missing a step in his grisly dance. He was a warrior, he was a prince, nothing could defeat him. A singular scream cut through it all. The piercing sound hit Thorin square in his heart, a horrid blow of dread and fear. He ran to her, his kin and his subjects defending him from attack as he rushed to be by her side. She was splayed upon the rocks, a goblin blade forced through her broken armour at the heart until it pinned her to the ground. A river of blood ran down her breastplate, a tiny trickle seeping out of her mouth as she tried to speak. He knelt beside her, cradling her in his arms as the battle raged around them.
"N-No," he whispered hoarsely, feeling tears burning his eyes. She simply smiled up at him, reaching up and placing a hand on the side of his face.
"Goodnight, my prince," she hushed, echoing her words from the end of so many evenings spent together beneath the stars. The soft smile never faltered as her eyes grew cold and her hand slipped from his face, leaving her limp and lifeless in his arms.
"N-No," Thorin repeated, his tone getting more desperate "N-No."
He leant down so his forehead touched hers, kissing her bloodstained lips softly. Then he whispered something she had never heard in life, passing his lips with the bitter aftertaste of regret.
"I-I love you."
~<>~~~<>~
Thorin awoke with an ache in his chest, as if the seams on his hastily stitched heart were beginning to split and tear. He sat up, putting his head in his shaking hands and swallowing the burning feeling in his throat. He focused on his breathing, shutting his eyes and listening to the shaky gasps. One hand moved to clutch the silver locket around his neck, bringing it to his lips in a ritual he had repeated for years. He dared to open it, valiantly fought tears pricking his eyes as he stared at her. She was clad in armour decorated with stars and suns, her long blue cloak wrapped around her shoulders. Her tawny hair was in braids, two on each side, woven together beautifully. Her eyes stared back at him, the colour indistinguishable in such a small picture. They had been blue, like her older brother's, as fierce as the sea and as beautiful as sapphires.
~<>~~~<>~
Thorin shook his head, shutting the locket and letting it lie against his chest. The ache still throbbed dully in his chest, a horrid reminder of the memory that always came back to haunt him. He hauled himself out of bed, kicking away the twisted blankets. Bare feet touched cold floor and padded softly across the room, careful not to wake the sleeping child in the opposite room. Thorin crept downstairs, going into the living room and to the fireplace. Picking up his pipe and his box of pipe weed, Thorin slunk outside to calm his nerves.
~<>~~~<>~
Cold air pricked at his bare torso as he sat on the porch, soft plumes of smoke curling up towards the stars. The mountains were just dark shapes against the sky, a blank absence of light and colour. All the while, the moon glared harshly down like a great white eye. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear the patter of tiny feet as they hesitantly made their way towards him.
"D-Daddy?" Asked a tiny, sleepy voice. Thorin sat up, dragging himself from his deep reverie and putting his pipe out. He turned and smiled exhaustedly at his daughter. She was stood in the doorway, wrapped in a blanket with her blue teddy clutched tightly to her chest. Her navy blue eyes looked even more tired than his.
"Go back to bed princess," he said, his voice as soft as sandpaper.
"B-But you've b-been crying..." Hazel whimpered softly.
"I'm okay princess," Thorin lied, hoping his eyes weren't too red.
"I-I said I'd help you when y-you're sad," Hazel persisted timidly as she cautiously made her way over to him. Thorin just opened his arms to her, allowing her to sit on his lap and curl up against his chest. He watched her eyes trace the pale spider web of scars on his skin, curious yet cautious.
"Y-You have l-lines like m-mine," she murmured. Thorin smiled softly.
"They're called scars little one," he said. "A-are you s-sad about them?" Hazel asked.
"No," he answered, shaking his head. Her little brow wrinkled, trying to work out what he could be upset about. Eventually, her eyes fell on the locket.
"I-Is it that?" She asked. Thorin broke eye contact, the ache in his heart reviving as a stabbing pain. Reluctantly, he nodded.
"I-I... I lost someone very special to me Hazel, on the same day as I got a few of these scars. I keep her picture in here so I can still see her."
Then, Hazel reached her little arms up and hugged him gently.
"I-It's going to b-be okay daddy."
Something bloomed in Thorin's stitched up heart, warming it until the ache almost vanished completely. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he hugged his little girl closely, holding her as if he would never let go again.
"Wh-Which star is sh-she?" Hazel asked quietly. Thorin frowned but smiled.
"What?"
Hazel fiddled with her teddy timidly.
"M-My g-grandpa used to s-say that people t-turned into s-stars when th-they died s-so they c-could still w-watch us a-and keep u-us s-safe. H-he's a star n-now."
Thorin smiled, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"Which star is he?" He asked. Hazel looked up at the sky for a moment before smiling, pointing to a soft yellow star just above the peaks of the mountains.
"Th-There."
She looked up at Thorin, waiting for him to point out his star. He scanned the skies for a moment before his eyes fell on a blue star below the moon that the dwarves called "Durin's Heart".
"There," he pointed "She's there."
"Sh-She's pretty," smiled Hazel sleepily, leaning back against Thorin's chest.
"Bedtime I think," he murmured quietly, picking her up and making his way back inside. Hazel snuggled close against him, cuddling her teddy as she curled up in his arms. As he opened her bedroom door, she murmured:
"N-No."
Thorin frowned.
"Why not princess?" He asked. Hazel pouted up at him sleepily, struggling to stay awake.
"I-I said I-I'd look after you," she replied. A gentle smile replaced Thorin's frown.
"You want to stay with me, princess?"
Hazel nodded drowsily, allowing herself to be carried into Thorin's room and laid on the bed. He pulled one side of the covers over her before climbing in himself, tugging the blankets up so they were both cocooned gently. She turned timidly to face him, allowing herself to have a protective arm draped over her.
"Goodnight little princess," Thorin whispered softly, kissing the top of her head. Hazel gave a shy little smile, shuffling up so she could kiss his cheek.
"N-Night n-night daddy."