The Power Within

Mariposa

It has been weeks since Lena found a match in energy. But like everything else the lead didn't lead me to my boy, it lead me to another dead end. I'm literally going crazy. I hold it together during the day but no one knows that at night I basically bathe in alcohol. 3 bottles of Ever Clear a night. I've gone back to my old ways, back when I first lost Layla.
And now I don't know where my boy is and it doesn't help that Layla's anniversary is days away.

So my emotions are going wild. I'm alone here. Yes I have friends but it's not the same. I miss my mom, my dad, my brothers (yes. Surprisingly I even miss Zander) and most importantly my son and wife.

I sit here in my one bedroom apartment the D.E.O provided for me and I sip down the last of my Ever Clear for the night but it's still not enough. The pain is still there. Damn earths alcohol, I barely get a buzz with three bottles.

I fly about 30 miles outside of the city, I find a grassy hill where I lay down and look up at the stars. And I just think. Think about how I never knew how sick my wife was and what I could've done to fix it. If I only knew what she had, maybe I could've found a cure. Then my mind races to my son. If she didn't get sick I wouldn't have my son. What am I talking about...I don't have him. Because I'm a failure I lost him. I lost him and my wife.

My beautiful boy, I miss you Sky. I'm losing hope. I've been here months and I still haven't found you. I'm one of the best sensors in...well my universe and I can't find you anywhere. Not even on the nearby planets. I really don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I should've listened to my gut when I first got here. Instead of holding on to this false hope. I've failed. I have nothing to live for anymore.

The night breeze was a tad chilly so I wrapped my scarf around my neck and over my nose. It still smells like Layla, no matter what it goes through it still smells like my girl. I close my eyes and listened to the breeze rustling the leaves on the trees and the ones on the ground. I easily drifted off to a deep sleep.

My eyes land on the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Layla. Shes holding the hand of a boy with blue eyes, about seven or eight years old. And a new born baby girl in her other arm.

I couldn't tell where we were. There was beautiful flowers behind Layla and the sunset just made her skin glow.

She smiled at me, "I love you Zen. Thank you for our beautiful family." She kissed me and I kissed her back.

I missed kissing her. "I love you too."

The boy looked at me, "come on momma let's go train."

As if I was on autopilot I followed him. "Hold on Skyler. I don't have my training clothes on." I looked down at my clothes. I was in shorts and...some sort of bra? What am I wearing?
For once in so long I felt so happy. Like this is where I was supposed to be.

Zen. Zen. Zenara!

I heard in the background. I couldn't see who it was or where I it was coming from.

Zenara!!!

My eyes flung open. When I come to I saw Ruby standing over me, looking concerned. "Zen are you ok? Zen?"

"Yeah." I sat up and looked around. "Where am I?"

"Out in the wilderness. What were you doing out here?"

I didn't answer. I just looked around trying to figure out what I'm still doing here. "What time is it?"

"It's 1:30"

"Oh crap." I don't remember what exactly happened, it wasn't from the alcohol, I don't think. All I remember was thinking about Layla and Skyler, then I passed out.

"Are you sure your ok? You were dreaming. You were talking in your sleep. What were you dreaming of?" She asked. "You reek of alcohol."

"I don't remember what I was dreaming of." Thought about it. But the only thing that kept popping up was a name. "Emalee. That's the only thing I remember."

"I hate when I can't remember dreams." She paused, "are you ok though?" She was worried.

I say I'm ok but I'm still emotional. I think Ruby can read through the lie because she sat in front of me and put her hand in my shoulder.

"You can talk to me you know. I may be 12 but I'm your friend. At least I hope so."

"We are friends kid." I smiled but apparently a tear fell from my eye.

"Your not ok. Talk to me."

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I told her everything. How I lost both loves of my life and how I have nothing to live for anymore. That my son isn't here. That I don't think he's alive anymore. My heart ached.

"Wow. That's terrible. But you can't give up hope. The Kais, they're like a few steps away from like Gods right?"

"Sure. Something like that." I said.

"See, then he has to be here. I mean you found his pod and his teddy. He has to be here."

"That's not the part that's got me worried. Why can't I sense his life energy?" I asked Ruby, as if she knew the answer.

"I don't know why you can't but that doesn't mean he's not here. Maybe you can't sense his energy because of the face that you spent less then a year with him."

I took a deep breath, "that may be true but what about all that time he spent in my womb, 8 months. Plus 6 after he was born. So that's about a year and a few months." I sighed as I thought about it.

"There has to be some type of sign of hope to reassure you." She said.

We sat for a few minutes when all of a sudden a butterfly came flying up to me landing on my lap. "Huh." I brought my hands to it and I crawled right on.

"Woah its so pretty." Ruby said.

I brought it up to get a better look at it. The blue really popped against the black on its wings. It's beautiful. It's just like the ones back home. "This is it Ruby. This is the sign."

Ruby raised a brow in confusion, "really? It's just a butterfly."

"I know. But back home. There was a place high in the mountains that no one knew about, just me. It's a place where all the butterflies would gather. Butterflies are the most beautiful creatures on my planet. I took Layla to the high mountains the day I wanted to confess my love for her. I told her that the hundreds of butterflies didn't compare to her beauty. I told her I loved her and that she was my butterfly. I haven't seen any on this planet."

"Wow you really loved her didn't you."

"I still do. Till my last breath. She's my one and only."

We sat in silence again, just for a bit. I raised my hands and let the butterfly go.

"Mariposa." I whispered in Spanish, which I just mastered. I can't give up. I won't give up. He's here. He has to be. "I won't give up on you my baby boy. Mommy's coming."