chapter 18 » i got you first (end)

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Peter's elbows stay locked and everything around him is hollowed, echoed as if to be deep in an empty chapel

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Peter's elbows stay locked and everything around him is hollowed, echoed as if to be deep in an empty chapel. The sirens are growing closer, KAREN is in his ear telling him to stop, Tony is beside him calling his name. But nothing. All Peter is focused on is getting another heartbeat. Something. A breath. He's so focused he hasn't noticed the water falling onto Ajax's face was his own tears cascading down his cheeks.

"Peter, you are causing more damage." KAREN says but Peter keeps pumping to the beat of Stayin Alive, wanting to spit at the irony.

"Come on, kid. You gotta get out of here." Tony kneels beside him and presses a hand on his shoulder.

Nothing, nothing from Peter but a horrible crack is heard and then a sob escapes Peter.

"You're breaking ribs. Go." Tony says. "Get your aunt and come to the hospital. Go."

Peter's mouth quivers as he looks to Tony but his arms stay locked as he keeps up the chest compressions. "I-I-I-I can't." He says, looking back to Ajax.

"Go."

"Mr-"

"Now." Tony's voice is stern and filled with warning.

Peter's compressions slow and become softer. His elbows give and he can feel his muscles growing weak. He tried. He tried so fucking hard and there was still no sign of life. Nothing. Just nothing.

It's all his fault. How could he allow Ajax to go with this plan? He could have done something. Peter could have went after Harry first. He shouldn't have allowed Ajax to take this on. It was his battle and he let her get involved. And now she's just...gone.

"I-I'm-" Peter stammers as he moves and Tony takes over, his compressions not nearly as hard. "I'm sorry..."

"Get out here before someone sees you." Tony says, looking to Peter.

Peter nods, pulling out his mask, and takes a deep breath, rubbing the tears from his eyes before pulling the mask over his face. He had to get out there and he knew it. There's a feeling in the pit of his stomach that's saying it'd only get worse if he didn't. If he stayed, the police would see who Spider-Man really is. They'd know and then they'd likely put blame on him. Sure, Tony is there and Tony would have Peter's back and everything would straighten out. But, Peter can't risk it. Not for him because as far as he's concerned right now, it's just more blood on his hands and maybe it would be safer for everyone if he hung up the suit. But, he'd do it for May.

Peter went straight home just like Tony said, Ajax plastered right in front of his head. Guilt ate at his bones with every swing from every building.g How could he leave her? Leave her like that? What if he had just moved and went in front of her? Would that have changed anything? Why isn't her suit made to withstand electricity? Is his? Why wouldn't Tony make the suit safer? Why wouldn't Ajax suggest it? There were so many damn questions piling up that Peter didn't even see a pole and smacked it face-first, falling to the ground in a hard thud.

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