Camping Trip

Chapter Seventeen

Lucas sank down, and Aiden, blaming the adrenaline his heart was pumping through him, climbed onto his lap. He could feel the tension in Lucas deflating as their lips moved together, and with hands on his hips, Aiden let himself sit back and catch his breath.

"So" Lucas said slowly, his brow creased, "You think I'd rather – wait you think being gay is stepping out of line?"

"No!" He objected immediately, "But you know what this place is like – it's full of old fashioned farmers and even if people don't mind being gay will still be something for everyone to gossip about."

Lucas wasn't looking any happier, but Aiden was on his lap and he couldn't go anywhere.

"I'm just a bit anxious." Aiden added, hoping to play a sympathy card.

"That isn't what you said. You said that I was going to change my mind – that whole time you thought I'd pick my, I don't even know what, my image I guess?" Lucas's expression screwed up into something extremely vexed, "You think I care more about what people might think about me than what I feel?"

Aiden's hopes were sinking faster and faster. Problem was, he had been thinking that, and it was hard to outright lie and say no to Lucas's face. "You said yourself that you've know you were gay for years, but you still dated girls."

"I was trying things out!" Lucas snapped.

Aiden flinched. "I'm sorry."

He climbed off his lap and sat in his spot, he stared ahead, feeling a burn in his eyes that threatened tears. It had taken him two minutes to screw everything up.

The lord of the rings theme song played in the background, almost drowning out Lucas's angry breaths.

"I've been honest with you." Lucas said, his voice deadly calm, "About me and about how I feel."

"I know you have."

"And why don't you believe me?"

"I do."

"Fine, yes, you believe me now, because I came here like an idiot. Why not then?"

Aiden wanted to curl up as the sharpness in his voice grew. He swallowed hard. "I believed you then as well Lucas. I believe you meant what you said, as you were saying it. But, I also thought that it would probably end up like it did before. We'd get back here, and everything would go back to normal." He was proud of himself for speaking levelly, but he didn't want to risk looking at Lucas and breaking down. "I'm sorry Lucas. I wasn't pretending about anything out there either, and I'm sorry for doubting you, but I haven't known you since we were kids. A week doesn't really make up for that."

Lucas was silent for a long time. So long that the steam stopped rising from the coffee cup, and Aiden wanted to throw something at the tv to make that music stop.

"Why did you kiss me just now?"

"Because you were going to leave."

"And you didn't want me to?"

He looked down at his sling, and the fingers clenching his knee. He felt exposed enough already, and he didn't want to do this any longer. "I got the feeling you wouldn't be coming back."

"So you decide to force yourself on me?"

Aiden jolted, a burst of anger shooting through him. "Like you couldn't shove the guy half your size with a broken arm off you?" He stood up. "Forget it, just leave."

"Right" Lucas rose up too, "I have to listen to you talk shit about me, but I say one thing and that's going too far?"

"I'm sorry." Aiden snapped, "I'm sorry for forcing myself on you, clearly kissing you was a mistake. I'll be sure never to make it again."