new perspective

another boring night of not owning up

i thought that nights were supposed to be poetic but it's so irrelevant how the air looks like a single block of charcoal
and your hair is curly, irrelevant, again
but it makes me so mad that you don't own up to the shit you do

it drives me fucking insane

and i wish it was in a good way but it's not
it's the ugliest thing about you
it makes my chest burn with anger and it rules out my adoration for you
it makes me want to pull my hair in frustration and rip your fingers away from my scalp and your lips from mine and your breath from my shoulder

i don't like feeling that way
i don't like how you make me feel

so just open your fucking mouth and admit what you've done wrong before i break your heart and cry about it on another one of these bleak boring nights that are just not worth living for

--
this book is getting so fucking annoying and messy im sorry im just?????? i really need to get my feelings out and its not even poetry anymore but it helps kind of
u can stop reading bc its only gonna get shittier from here