Benjamin McAllister is the Queen's Man working in secret for King and Crown. It riddled his past with intrigue, war, and death. It was no place for a woman. Such comforts as marriage, family, and love were not to be his.
However, one woman had chan...
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Benjamin watched the waves lap against the hull of the privateer. The obsolete war vessel had been refitted, armed and a large crew recruited, much larger than a merchantman or naval vessel may carry.
Benjamin thought this his best option as these men cruised independently and generally tried to avoid encounters with warships unless the bounty appeared to be highly profitable which they seldom were. It would allow him to make the best time to the first port where he was instructed to speak with the Lieutenant and give him the Queen's instructions, that if they did not wish to fall out of favor, they were to never speak of the incident of the impressed men who were freed again.
He would have preferred to make his way straight to India but he knew the journey was arduous and they may be forced to make several stops to resupply or repair but he hoped not too many.
His only desire was to get to Fitton and find out what happened to her. He refused to believe she was gone. He just knew in his heart if Clara left this world he would somehow know, he'd feel it in his soul.
That still left many options.
She could have been discovered and left. She could have been saved and stayed on. She may have been dropped at a port because her injury was too severe. Still, he had to know, no matter what the outcome and if God willed it, and he did find her, he WILL bring her home. He vowed this to himself.
Never again would he let her go.
Brummell was against the idea. His parting words were, "Some things are best left undone." But the only thing undone was he. Benjamin could hardly sleep, or eat. He thought of little else. There was no moving on for him, he must have an answer.
The thought crept into his mind. What if he did find her and what if she still refused him? No! He could not think such things. It served no purpose. Until he hears it uttered from her lips it was only speculation.
Again he thought of the letter she wrote. The letter he still has not opened. He felt its presence daily sitting in his breast pocket. Taunting him. Teasing him. Reminding him of his cowardice. Still, he could not do it. He could not open it. He refused to subject himself to it. She wrote whatever she had under duress. Who knows how her mind or heart may feel now.
He wanted to believe, had they the opportunity to speak, that she would have never left. Perhaps she knew she too was weak and that is the reason she left him in this way. Knowing, should she see him, face to face, she would have never been able to break his heart.
"Land ho!" came the cry from the crow's nest.
The first port was within sight. It had been a month since he left England and finally, the first part of his journey was drawing near, and with every part completed he will find himself one step closer to her.
"We make for port, Benji!" said Captain McCullen the sea captain and privateer had come up behind him and patted his shoulder. "You seemed so deep in thought I figured you may not have heard."
