Play Pretend | ✓

19 | take 5

I looked at Tyler, stunned. He missed us? He did? Then why did he act the way he did? Why did he ignore me all these years? Why did he tell Kiara that I was nothing but an acquaintance?

All these questions swam in my mind, desperately trying to reach the surface to find answers.

"Then why...?"

That's all I asked him. A simple word, why. A simple word with so many different meanings, so many different implications. A simple question with so many different possible answers. But what did Tyler say?

Nothing.

He shrugged. He shrugged. His poker face betrayed nothing too, no emotion, no regret, no sadness. Almost as if he had said those words earlier by mistake.

I glared at him. "No, Tyler, shrugging won't help. You know what I'm talking about, and only you can give me the answer. Why did you ignore me all these years, Tyler? Why did you break your promise? What took over you to make you so indifferent, so...so heartless?"

He turned on me. "Heartless, huh? Heartless? That's all you think of me? That I'm heartless?" He let out a wry humourless laugh. "Sometimes I wonder how well you really know me, Liz."

My eyes turned blurry at his last words. "Well, what else am I supposed to think? My best friend, the one who's been by my side all my life, the one I trust the most, suddenly leaves me after graduation, and breaks his promise of keeping in touch. He never would've even bothered to contact me if we hadn't met again after two years on a film set. Come on, Tyler, what would you think if someone did this to you? Not just someone, your best friend since kindergarten. What opinion would you have then, huh?"

He kept silent, not daring to look at me.

All my energy drained, I turned back to watch the kids. Now whatever little hope I'd had of resuming my friendship with Tyler was all lost. We both sat on either side of the bench, away from each other, looking in front and nowhere else. I felt miserable. A tear slipped from my cheek, then another, and another, and suddenly, I was crying silently, full-on rivers flowing down my face.

Suddenly, I felt a warm presence near me, and my head was jerked to my left to face Tyler, who was looking at me with so much grief that my tears increased in quantity. He slowly lifted his fingers and wiped away the drops one by one. I flinched from the sudden warmth of his hands. It felt odd, but strangely comforting.

He wordlessly wiped away my tears and held my face in his hands. I felt uncomfortable, and my face, already red and blotchy from crying, turned even warmer and redder, if that was possible.

"I've always hated seeing you cry, Lizzie. But I hate it the most when I'm the reason for your tears."

I stared at him. He called me Lizzie. That name still rolled off his tongue with so much ease, like it was meant to be that way. Also, his words made me feel queasy, weird, but in a good way.

Why was he being so bipolar?

I whispered, "Tell me, Tyler. Tell me the reason, please. Don't make me cry even more."

He exhaled deeply before replying. "I cared for you, okay? I cared a lot for you, you just don't understand. I didn't keep in touch with you because I became famous, Liz, but you're wrong in the way you think. I didn't become some arrogant jerk who let fame get to his head. No. I wanted you to stay away from the spotlight, because believe me, the spotlight is the place where all the darkness begins."

I froze, not being able to comprehend. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "Look Liz, I never wanted you to experience what I did. Because it's horrible, and it's rough. Modelling was okay for me, and as long as I did that, I tried to keep in touch with you, even in between my busy schedule. But as soon as I entered Hollywood, I knew that this was the real deal. I earned my status as a sought-after Hollywood heartthrob, as they like to call me, and I gained a lot of worldwide fame and love, not to mention money. But there's a flipside to everything. Along with all this came the darkness."
"Don't you hear of celebrities fighting depression, fighting battles of their own? Actors, singers and other famous people taking drugs, antidepressants. Why do they do it? Because of the constant spotlight. Handling everything, the fame, popularity, work, paparazzi, fans... It's crazy. And if you have any emotional attachments, they don't get spared too."
"And that's exactly why I shut you out, Liz. You've got to believe me. I didn't want you to be mobbed and hazarded by my fans and the media. They'd be sure to track down any person who I have connections with, outside the industry. Anybody ordinary, not famous. My parents weren't spared from the ordeal too. They were mobbed and interviewed until they became sick of it. And I didn't want you to face the same torture. But now you're in, you've become an actress, you can't get out of this now. But if acting is your passion, then so be it. Focus on what you love, and maybe you won't be deterred by anything bad over here. But acting is not as much of a passion to me as it is to you. I just happen to be good at it, and modelling was not proving to be successful enough, so I auditioned for a couple of roles and then, bam! I was suddenly the hot new hero every girl wanted to date and every director wanted to cast. But I was scared, and unprepared, Liz. Honestly. I never expected any of this. It still feels new, and I still feel inexperienced. I can never get used to the limelight. So I wanted to protect my loved ones from the harm it can cause. And that's why I stayed away from you, Liz. I didn't want to hurt you. But turns out I did exactly that in the process. But I don't regret it. Anything's better than you suffering from what I did, but now that you've chosen this, there's no going back. I know you want it, and you can handle it, but I'm not so sure about myself."

Tyler finished his long monologue and looked at me, taking in breaths. I couldn't find words suitable enough to say. It was all so new, so overwhelming, so utterly shocking that I couldn't absorb all of it at once. I hadn't expected this at all. I'd assumed he had become a typical arrogant celebrity whose life revolved around parties and money and booze and girls. I never thought that whatever he did, all this while his feet were still firmly planted on the ground.

Then it was Tyler's turn to ask me a simple question, simple on the outside, but which held so many different meanings and opened up to so many different answers.

"Do you believe me?"

I took a deep breath. Should I say it? Or should I not? I finally decided to screw it and just take the leap I'd been fearing to take for two whole years.

"I do, Ty."

And then he did the unthinkable. He smiled, and hugged me. Tyler Callahan hugged me. But then I thought, no, Ty hugged me.

And so, thinking that, I hugged him back.

(A/N: Oh my god! What just happened? Walls are breaking down, they are slowly warming up to each other! About damn time, right?
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