Baby Yesung

🐢9🐢

Today I am taking my baby boy back home. I am thinking if I did everything to make our home safer. I locked every sharp tool, put locks on windows, hide every pills even the one for cold. But it is enough? What if he find some way to hurt himself again? I am in front of his hospital room and take few deep breaths to calm down. I open the door with fake smile and put the bag with clothes for him on bed.

"Are you ready to go home?"

Yesung only looked at me with blank stare and then hung his head down again. I will take it as yes. I diapered him and help him to get dressed in black jeans and my big white shirt with blue stripes. It was mine shirt but Yesung likes to wear it because it comforts him. I help him to get in white Vans and we can go. I see that he is trying to cover the bandages around his wrists so I quickly give him my jacket. He still isn't talking and when I strapped him in his booster I need to break the silence.

"Do you want something yummy?"

Yesung shook his head no and continue in staring out of the window.

"How are you feeling baby?"

Fuck, such fucking stupid question?! Are you even thinking Siwon? He tried to commit suicide and you asked him how is he feeling? He rolled his head and stares at me. At least I get some reaction from him.

"Do you want to visit Tae and Jimin?"

He shook his head no again and I sigh. What is next on the list?

"Bugsy was sad without you. I tried to sneak him to hospital, but the nurse caught me and I swear that I saw steam coming from her ears."

I laugh but it sounds awkward and Yesung doesn't budge. I parked in garage and we stepped in elevator. On second floor we stopped and Seokjin stepped in the elevator. He looked surprised but then smiled at us.

"Hello!"

Yesung quickly hided behind me. Seokjin sighed sadly and remain silent for rest of the way. I relax when we are finally back at home and locked the door. I help Yesung out of my jacket and shoes. And kneeled in front of him.

"Do you want to take a bath?"

Yesung only looked at me and it is irritating to speak into wind. I lift him and place him on my hip.

"Papa will bath with you. But first you need bottle, I bet that you are hungry."

I speak just for myself and hope that he will say something.

"I think that the strawberry flavoured formula will be good."

I make pause and wait if he wants some different flavour.

"One minute in microwave is enough."

I know that he likes the temperature when I leave the bottle in microwave for one minute and thirty seconds but Yesung doesn't correct me. I sit down on couch and cradle his frail body close to my chest. I put the teat between his lips, but he refused to drink. I turn on the TV and put thin white blanket over his face and chest. Sometimes he is too shy and refuse to drink from bottle but now he has privacy. I hold the bottle for him and feel how he is sucking on it and soon I hear quiet burp. I take of the blanket and see that he is slowly falling asleep.

"Baby don't sleep. You need bath."

I lift him and carry him in bathroom. I sit him on floor and run the bath. I undress my clothes and undress my baby too. It is quite funny how we look next to each other. Yesung is shorter and petite with white skin while I am high, muscular and my skin has bronze tone. I lift him under armpits and sit him in the warm water. I unwrap the bandages around his wrists and sit in the bath with him.