drowning comets.

♡ 035: deteriorate

♡ [ 05/24/18 ] ♡

Deteriorate
/verb\
become progressively worse.

~✭~
(Please read at you own risk. Extreme trigger warning.)

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Screams that are so bloody loud that the throat it came from is now scratched with crimson beads, so raspy and dry that it starts to crack.

The most iniquitous, angry adrenaline is possessing the blood that pumps through my body, it makes me want to bang my head against the wall so hard that my skull cracks. Over and over and over and over again.

My fists squeeze themselves so tight that my knuckles surpass blueness, and my blood circulation cuts off as my nails tear my soft palm apart. It's the same pain as a thick nail being hammered into it, an instinct to try to control the anger flushing my entire soul.

My hands crave to bruise themselves by creating a hole in the dry wall. They crave to squeeze and pinch at my own sinned skin that my whole body gets abused by my own two hands. My hands are evil, they were hypnotized by the devil's crave for eternal misery.

I'm stomping my feet and running so fast that I feel like I'm going to get whiplash. My head hurts so much that it feels like my ears are ringing so fucking loud that they're getting stabbed by blades.

My stomach aches to retch, like an unhappy beast it torments itself till it's starved. Still, the nausea that pits in the gut of my stomach, pains me as it gets disgusted at my own insanity and soars with feelings of fear at my own emotions.

My eyes feel like there are weights pressing against them from their own exhaustion. They are physically tired and overly swollen from all the times I cried, my eye bags so dark that it makes my eyes look ugly and miserable.

I bawl so hard to the point I'm laughing, a laugh that is so full of utter disgust and hatred for myself. My face contorts itself in the most broken of smiles as I continue to scream and bawl, fingers tangling into my scalp that ache to rip my hair from out my head.

I'm sitting in this box, and it feels exactly how I imagine the void to be. I'm claustrophobic in this tight, locked box that I want to kick and hit until it opens up. I'm choking at the lack of oxygen in there, I'm suffocating. It feels like I'm constantly burning, and it's been like that for three years.

Scary, isn't it?

That nobody even notices how my skin is starting to decay because of my wrath that curls itself inside of me.

This is how I feel everyday.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

(434 Words)
-♕ʝєℓℓყ♕ (@emotick) 🖤