Submitting

Bound

Are they supposed to be forgotten?

Forgiven for all those times when tears drowned those eyes.

Those sleepless nights all alone

Lying on the bed with the stained pillows.

Crying and laughing and crying again

For the fate that has chosen

A life that never ends.

****

I woke up to the flash of bright light falling on my closed eyelids. The urge to open them and see what's happening was immense but the strange heaviness that possessed them made it impossible for me to do so. Perhaps I could use my hands to help me but alas they were tied up but not on top of my head like before. Instead, they were painfully arched back and held together with something that had severe sharp teeth for grip and the more I tried to struggle, the more my hands bled. My legs were in the same condition.

Needless to say, I was tied up with zip ties.

Slowly parting my lips, I tried to call for help but was soon interrupted by the inevitable reality. No one will come to rescue me because I had no one. I didn't know where Liza was or what happened to her but if she is here then I am not going to leave without her. If Liza is being treated worse than me, then I wanted to be treated worse than her because I deserve it. She was never supposed to get caught in my shit. I should have known better. I should have known that my life won't ever be better. It can only go worse.

The bang of a heavy metal rod from one corner of the room almost made me scream. I sucked in a deep breath to push the urge to bawl my eyes out. If there is one thing that life taught me then it's controlling my emotions on the outside. All of them who hurt me just wanted a reaction from me to satisfy their sick need for power and I would be wrong if I said that the monster in this room didn't want the same.

The shrill cry of the rod being dragged forward, closer and closer to me made my skin crawl with goosebumps. I wanted to hide, I wanted to run away but I couldn't. The feeling of being trapped was not new to me, neither was fear.

Finally, he stopped in front me with his sharp gaze pricking my soul and said the words that froze my whole being.

You've lost some weight yet you look as beautiful as the first day I met you. It was at that moment when the drowning waves of dread settled on me. I was too busy to notice anything except for the burn in my hands and legs. Especially because I was not allowed the advantage of my sight so there was nothing for me to deduce. Not even my attire.

There was nothing much to what I could feel on my skin. Perhaps a flimsy lingerie with a net embroidery which itched every time I moved. My eyes were undoubtedly blindfolded by a piece of cloth tightly wound around my head. Thankfully, my mouth was not gagged or sealed while I was made to sit on the chair with both of my legs tied to the legs of the chair. Such a compromising position made me feel more vulnerable than all that time when I was bound to the bed, unable to move.

To me, it all seemed useless. Especially the fact that he blinded me. What else was left for me to discover? I knew his name, I knew his face but most importantly, I knew the devil sheathed underneath that calm façade. Unless it was just for his pleasure, a game.

He lifted up his head towards the sky and closed his eyes while smirking happily at his achievements and the ruins that he has caused. "Do you smell that? It's like the smell of a new book, a new chapter, Roza." He turned towards me and looked me in the eye.

"A new game."

The rough and warm touch of his hand traced the lump of gulp as it slithered down my neck. He knew exactly what was going on in my mind because he planned it all beforehand and everything was going exactly as he wanted. I don't struggle or fight back because I know that it is useless. He has everything he needs to pull me down on my knees. I didn't want to admit it, but I was at awe by the accuracy of every decision he mastered and applied.

It's true that I don't struggle but that didn't make him give me the freedom to control my body. He had it all. Took it from me, made his own and ruled it. A huge part of the fear that consumed me most of the time was the inescapable future that lay ahead. Sooner or later it will come, I know it. He will force himself on me but that seems like the easy way and very much predictable

I might not know Dimitri very well but I knew enough to assume that every action of his is calculative and unpredictable. He will most possibly come up with a way to make me follow his demands and orders like he always says he would. All the doors will be closed for me then but hopefully, somewhere I will find a small hole to squeeze through towards freedom with Liza by my side.

The loud bang of the metal rod or stick made me jump with fear. I didn't want to look so helpless, but he wanted me to, and he succeeded. His hand slowly grazed my skin and descended my throat until it finally reached the thin strap of the lingerie on my shoulder. His thumb hooked underneath the strap and tugged at it yet not removing it off my shoulder. It made me realize the terrible trap I had fallen into. One strong tug and my chest would be completely bare to him for his eyes to devour. Yet he waited and teased like he always loves too.

Roza lets play.

****

Recommended listening to the YouTube video while reading.