𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬

5

It had hit four in the morning and Maddies mind had yet to shut off and go into a dreamless sleep, or any sleep at that, every time she got close to falling asleep her eyes wondered to the cassett player and if her eyes shut well she seen Hannah blaming her for the way her life went. As she laided on her back staring at the ceiling she gave up trying to sleep and put the headphones on once again clicking play and hoping she would understand the story without going to the house that Hannah had mentions and wrote on the map.

"It was just a party. I didn't know it was the beginning of the end. Justin, you were in love with my friend Kat." Before Hannahs voice could contuine Maddies hand hit the pause button and she sat up. "No he didn't!" She nearly shouts then remembers the time and tried to calm down. She hated it, she hated when people would say Justin loved someone else, wheater it be true or not, Maddie would never know, nor did she want to know unless she was right.

"My only friend. So, you see, that's where the trouble began. That smile, that damned smile. The one and only Kat moved away before the start of school. She was the kind of friend that couldn't be replaced, even by falling in love with the boy she left behind." Maddie paused it again and slide the headphones off, the fact that Hannah was saying she had fallen in love with Justin made her heart clench. Was this why she had been put on a tape? Maddie didn't want to believe that the reason Hannah had killed herself was because of Maddie, but there was something that made her wince. Maybe if I had just stayed away from Justin then she'd still be the happy girl I met. Maddie checks the clock and it had hit five thirty, this was when she needed to wake up Zach and May. She walked to Zachs room first knocking on the door and when she hears his voice and walks to Mays room, she shakes May and when she nods Maddie walks out and too her bedroom shutting and locking the door. She quickly throws on a random outfit and throws all of her work into her backpack. She sits back down and prepares to hear Hannahs voice again.

"Being Kat's boyfriend was kind of the only remarkable thing about you, but, Justin, you were my Kryptonite." The statement had made Maddie beyond upset. That was not the only thing remarkable thing about him, in fact that wasn't even one of the things, and as far as she had known Justin and Hannah didn't have a real connection. Maddie then realized that just her thoguhts were becoming harsh towards Hannah for liking the boy she loved, what if during the time Hannah was alive Maddie had said worse things for her. Maddie let out a disappointed sigh, she hated the way her mouth had a mind of it's own.

"I was an office assistant third period. So I knew where you were third period. I even decided to like basketball for you Justin. I know what you're all thinking. Hannah Baker is a slut. Oops. Did you catch that? I said "Hannah Baker is." Can't say that anymore." The amusment in Hannahs voice made Maddies stomach turn and Maddie slightly jumped when there was a pause and she hear someone at her door. She removed the headphones and clicked pause. She opens the door to see Zach standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression. "Time to go." Zach says making Maddie nod and grab her bag off the desk though she was hesitate since she wanted to listen to the tapes. Zach seen the hesitant movements and seen how her eyes flickered back to the casset player, he sighed for a moment before reaching into his pocket and grabbing the small walkman which he had used to listen to the tapes. "Here use this, but we need to leave." He said quickly as he handed it to her and walked down the hall. She stood confused as she grabbed the tape out of the cassett player and popped it into the walkman and made sure to shove her earbuds into her pocket as she ran out and jumped into the front seat and buckled her seatbelt while she kept the walkman in her lap.

"Jesus Mads you look like crap." Zach says concerned since she had bags under her eyes and he could tell she hadn't slept. "Thanks Zach that's what every girl wants to hear." Maddie chuckles but stops when she realized Zach already had the walkman in his pocket and knew what she needed. "You got them didn't you?" Maddie asks staring at the trees that they were passing.

"Yeah Mads I did." Zach sighs Maddies eyebrows furrowed, Zach had been nothing but nice to Hannah, in fact as far as Maddie knew Zach had been nice to everyone he met. The rest of the car ride was very silent. When Zach pulled in Maddie walked out, not waiting on her brother and not going to the spot she normally did to wait the ten extra minutes for Justin to arrive with Bryce, Maddie needed to finish Justins tape as fast as she could, she didn't know how much more she could take hearing about how Hannah loved him but she knew she couldn't just quit listening. She went to a bench on the other side of the school and put in her earbuds.

"I dreamed our first kiss would take place in the park. I never told you that. The dreams started with me at the top of the rocket holding onto the steering wheel. It's still a playground rocket, but every time I turn the wheel to the left or to the right, the trees lift up like they're taking flight. And I'm scared because I don't know how to fly. But you're there at the bottom of the slide to catch me when I fall." Maddie couldn't help but roll her eyes slightly though she listened intently, had the tape been on someone else she would have admired the words, the meaning, and maybe even the hope and wonder behind them but because it was on him, Justin, she couldn't wait for what she was saying to be over.

"And that's all that happened. We kissesd. Why? Did you hear something else? Nope. We just kissed. Sorry to disappoint you, but I guess now we're even." Maddie had known that all they did was kiss. She was sent the picture Justin had put out and she had been furious, partly because she knew it was cruel and mean and partly because, just like now, she couldn't stand the thought of him with someone else.

"Sort of. See I've heard so many stories about me now I don't know which one is the most popular. But I do know which is the least popular. The truth. See, the truth isn't always the most exciting version of things, or the best or the worst. It's somewhere in between. But it deserves to be heard and remembered. The truth will get out, like someone once said. It reminds. So thank you, Justin. Sincerely. My very first kiss was wonderful. What came after my first kiss? Not so wonderful. I'm not angry you betrayed my. I'm angry I trusted you in the first place. A rumour based on a kissed ruined a memory I hoped would be special. In fact, it ruined just about everything as you'll soon see. I know you probably didn't mean to let me down. In fact most of you listening probably had no idea what you were truly doing, but you'll find out. Turn the tape over for more."

Hannahs voice had stopped and the tape was over. Maddie let out a breath, that wasn't so bad, there were a few comments she could have done without and all she could hope was that the rest of the tapes were just at the same level of bad. She hadn't heard the bell for her first period so when she took out the earbuds she was suprised to see the outside area empty other than a boy sitting in the grass infront of her. It was justin and she shoved the player into her bag as she looked exhausted. "You got the tapes huh?" Justin asks in a broken voice while the circles under his eyes were still there, like the both of them had the same amount of sleep during the night. She looked up at him with an almost blank expression. "Yeah, and you did too." She says slightly nodding as she looks down a few strands of hair flying into her face. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought it was best if I didn't." Justin says.

"I was going to get them sooner or later."

"I was hoping I could protect you."

"Justin, you can't always do that."

"I can try."

{6.25.18}

I'm thinking about changing my update schedule. As of right now it's every Monday. What do you guys want? What days and how many times a week? Leave a suggestion. Love y'all.