F I F T E E N

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I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned and groaned in frustration all night long. My mind didn't seem to stray from Theodore once. His eyes, his smile, his lips. I kept going over and over that moment, trying to assure myself that I wasn't dreaming.

I replayed every single conversation we'd ever had, trying to pick out the clues he might have unknowingly left to indicate that he liked me back. But I got bored of going over and over our past memories, I was desperate to make new ones. I wanted to be with him, right here, right now.

I still wasn't sure that I hadn't dreamt that kiss. It was something completely new and exciting. Electricity rather than dull sparks. My affection for the boy had been steadily growing but I never expected it to evolve into anything more than a stupid crush. And here I was, thinking about him all the time, wishing that I could kiss him over and over and over again.

I didn't know it was possible to be this happy. Sure, I'd experienced happiness in the past, but not like this. There was always that cloud looming over me, ready to rain down past memories, slicing into me like a knife. But now it was all blue skies and sunshine. I'd won the football game, I'd kissed Theodore, Daya knew about my secret and she didn't judge me. Everything was going to be okay.

I was woken up by my dog bounding onto my bed, licking my face obnoxiously, panting and dribbling saliva over my sheets. I groaned and tried to shove him off, but Bugsy was being stubborn. "Fine, I'm getting up." I grumbled, untangling myself from the sheets, giving Bugsy one last scratch and trudging downstairs.

"Luca, can you take Bugsy for a walk?" My Dad requested, buttering a slice of toast.

I groaned but complied nonetheless, pulling on a pair of trainers and a jacket over my sweatpants. After grabbing an apple to eat on the way to the park and buckling Bugsy's orange lead onto his collar, I left. I realised as I walked that I was in a far better mood than usual. Normally, I'd protest and make my parents take him. I'd always take the short route or text one of my friends to meet me on the way so I wasn't so bored. But today, I walked with a spring in my step, opting for the longer circuit around the back of the park, taking pleasure in being alone with my thoughts.

The park was unusually empty when I arrived, probably due to the grey storm clouds rolling around above me. I was left alone with my dog and a couple of pigeons hammering their beaks into the moist soil. After finding refuge on a bench by the bushes, I let Bugsy off his lead and he bolted away immediately, his tail wagging back and forth.

I realised just how tired I was once my eyes begun to droop, starting to regret staying up so late thinking about a certain silver haired boy. I dug my hand into my pocket, pulling out a packet of cigarettes. After lighting one and taking a puff, I settled back on the bench, my eyes following the movements of my Labrador chasing a butterfly.

"Those things kill, you know?"

I glanced up at the sound of a familiar voice as Milo wandered over to me, his hands buried in his pockets as he flopped down beside me. "Hey." I mumbled.

"Don't let my brother know you smoke, he might just be put off." He nudged me playfully, fiddling with the dog lead in his hands.

"Not my problem if he doesn't like smokers." I scoffed, trying to push down the butterflies flapping their wings in my stomach.

"Sure." He rolled his eyes. "Because you totally don't care about his opinion at all, do you?"

My eyes snapped to his nervously, "You know?"

His brows raised in surprise, laughing softly under his breath, "I do now." He cackled. "What, are you two like...a thing or-?"

"No." I snapped. "We're just...I don't know..."

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