Spring Day 轉; knj + ksj

Apologies Part 1

I've been feeling very nervous since the start of the morning. My heart is pumping too much and my palms keep sweating that I have to wipe them against my pants every minute or so. I'm forgetting to breathe and my back is feeling hot. I'm just sitting at my desk, waiting for one person.

For the past week or so, Jin was nowhere to be seen at school. I didn't know if it was because of that incident that got him all depressed. I didn't bother asking Choa or Jin himself as that'd seem weird. I didn't consider Jin my friend. He was more or less a pest in my life, but it didn't seem right not to ask about my pupil's status. If he didn't get his grades up, then I wouldn't get that recommendation letter.

I wouldn't have been so nervous had it not been Hoseok.

"Earth to Namjoon. Earth to Namjoon," Hoseok kept repeating while obnoxiously waving his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I tilted my neck up to find Hoseok looking at me with a concerned expression. "Did you say something?"

Hoseok rubbed his nose with his index finger before complaining, "Yeah. I was asking you about question 49, but you totally blanked out."

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something," I murmured and then took a look at the practice exam question Hoseok was talking about.

As my eyes scanned down the page, Hoseok wondered, "Something bothering you?"

"I don't know," I sighed and stretched my arms and feet out. "I'm kind of a messed up person."

"Something is definitely bothering you," Hoseok noted and used the back of his pencil to touch the area between my eyebrows. He flicked the pen on my forehead, making me groan a bit.

"Damn it! What was that for?" I growled while rubbing my forehead.

"For fun!" Hoseok cackled while giving me a mischievous wink. He had this habit of winking whenever he was half-joking and half-serious. I didn't realize it then, but now that I think of it, he was probably irritated at me. I wonder how long he had put up with me.

"Fun?" I barked at him. "That hurt like shit!"

"Shit can't hurt," he pointed out, "unless you're pooping out rock hard pebbles of shit."

"Gross," I huffed at his bad joke and rolled my eyes. I didn't have time for any bad jokes. I had to focus my attention on writing those exams and placing well.

Hoseok changed the subject back and said, "Seriously though, if you're bothered about something, then do something about it. You're just going to develop wrinkles at this rate."

"I-I'm not particularly bothered," I mumbled almost too quietly that Hoseok had to lean closer to hear what I was saying. "I-I-I'm just concerned . . . slightly. Just slightly."

"About?"

"I mean . . . you know how I often say things without filtering . . . right?" I uttered, to which Hoseok nodded like a little bobble head doll. "Well . . . I might have . . . let something unfiltered . . . slip and potentially that may have . . . perhaps hurt someone's feelings."

As Hoseok shook his head, he scoffed, "Why don't you just apologize? It never hurts to say sorry first."

"But wouldn't that—"

"A friend of mine told me this," Hoseok interrupted me and extended his index finger in front of my face to make his point. "Saying sorry is actually just a way for you to feel better, so there's nothing about giving up your pride or losing face."