Beyond my Beating Heart

Chapter twenty two: the pain of his past

Play Bloodstream by The Chainsmokers for this chapter!

***

All the blood drains from my face and my body begins to feel weak. My heart is pounding a mile a minute and my palms start to clam up in sweat. What the hell.

"I-I," I begin, breathing rapidly, "I just, Jett, you're gonna need to explain, like, starting right now cause I don't know what the fuck is going on right now."

"I'll tell you everything, every last detail if you can stay calm and let me explain." He says, attempting to touch my arm, but I flinch an pull away as subtly as humanly possible.

He sighs, "I'm not gonna hurt you June."

"Well then you better get talking." I tell him sternly, voice shaking.

He takes a deep breath before continuing, "Let me start off by saying I didn't stab anyone or shoot someone in the head. It's not like that."

"Then what's it like?" I ask him, trying to stay calm.

"Just let me explain, okay Junie? Just listen for a minute, it's a long story. Can you do that for me please? And I promise when I'm done I'll answer any questions you have. Okay?"

I take a deep breath before responding, "I'll try, just... get on with it."

"So, last year, before I moved to here, I lived in Sacramento. I had an amazing school life, good grades, tons of friends, but the best part of all, I had my best friend. We'd been friends since kindergarten and had grown up together. Anthony and I were inseparable.

I liked it that way, and he did to. No matter how much pressure life put on us, we made a pact that we'd always have each other. And neither of us ever broke that. Sure we'd get into silly arguments sometimes, but nothing ever got between us. And nothing ever would.

Throughout grade school, Anthony would get picked on for being in a wheelchair, and I would get picked on cause I was friends with the "loser." And even though that hurt, I wouldn't stand to leave his side, and it paid off. Because by the time we got to high school, both of us were pretty damn popular and well like among the other students. It all seemed to work out.

But I should've known that all good things must come to an end. It was the last week of school, two days before we'd finally get out for summer vacation and he whole school was pumped. Ready to get out and finally be seniors the next year.

I had noticed the excitement of course, but something else filled the air. A sense of dread. It was difficult to figure out what it was, because I had absolutely no idea. And there were no signs.

In the middle of fifth period, the fire alarms began to blare their noises. And not a second later, the strong smell of smoke filled my nose and lungs.

Teachers began to go about the emergency plans and hurry students outside, and of course I go out as well. Outside of the building, I see smoke rising from the roof.

I was terrified. But it seemed like everyone was accounted for. I go and try to search for Anthony, just to make sure, when I hear a voice say to a firefighter, 'Please! Get him, there's a student in there, he's handicapped, likely in one of the halls.'

All the blood drained from my face and my stomach dropped, and before the firefighter could answer, I ran into the building.

My lungs burned from the smoke filled air, but I didn't care. I sprinted through the hallways, desperate to find him, I turned a corner and saw him sitting there, attempting to wheel himself out, but weak from the smoke.

I call out his name, screaming for him, and he coughs back, and I faintly hear him say my name. I knew I had to get him out of there. I grab the wheelchair handles and begin to run, but near the exit, one of the wooden rimmed trophy cases coughs fire and blocked the doors.

Although I couldn't feel it then because of the adrenaline, it had hit my shoulder blade and a piece of glass was embedded into my skin. So I was now injured as well.

I heard angry shouting coming from the outside, then see firemen running towards us, next thing I know I was grabbed and flung over a shoulder, and another one was carrying Anthony behind me.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in a hospital bed with my grandma's holding my hands. I remember wincing at the pain of my shoulder, but quickly sucked it up.

When I worriedly asked them how Anthony was, they looked at each other, and I immediately knew.

The rest was history. As soon as I got out of the hospital, we packed our bags and moved here, I didn't even go to his memorial service. I didn't want to be reminded that I'd been responsible for my best friends death."

By the time Jett finishes his story, we're both in tears. I quickly pull him into a tight, warm embrace.

"It's not your fault. I promise it wasn't your fault." I say, breathing shakily.

"I didn't even pay my respects. I didn't even hug his family, his family was like mine. I considered his parents my own, because I didn't even have any, I still don't. June, I can't live like this." At this point he's clutching on the back of my shirt, holding onto me like I'll fade away any second now.

"Then go see them." I whisper.

"What?"

"Go see his parents, his family, talk to them. Tell them you love them." I say.

"But," he starts, "They won't want to see the person who killed their son."

"You didn't kill him. There was nothing you could've done to save him. This is not on you, and you shouldn't make it like that." I assure him, holding him close to me.

"But I don't want to go back to California by myself. I couldn't do it."

"Nobody said you were going alone." I tell him with a weak smile.

"I don't want to put this on you, June." He says.

"But I want to. Trust me. I wouldn't offer if I didn't. I promise. It's the least I can do for someone who's been there for me throughout it all."

"But those plane tickets are expensive-" Jett tries to say.

"Don't worry about money, besides, I need to go visit my dad, cause he lives in that area too. Consider it good for both of us." I shrug.

"Thank you Junie. I love you."

My eyes widen, he loves me?

***

Well, what do you think? What do you think their trip will be like?

So, this was a fairly early update, look at me go. I was actually responsible. Told you I'd actually keep my promise this time. And I'm glad I did because I knew you guys needed answers.

For the next week, I'll be on vacation, so hopefully I get some inspiration from the different settings and sights, but inspiration or not, I'll still get a new chapter to you sooner rather than later, cause ya know, promises.

Love you always!

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