E I G H T E E N

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I was staring blankly at my closet. I had nothing to wear. It was all leather jackets, football jerseys, scruffy hoodies, stained with the scent of cigarette smoke and spilt alcohol. Theo would be in his usual dorky, adorable clothes. A massively oversized jumper, accompanied by ripped, distressed jeans and either a pair of clunky boots or faded converse. And I hated admitting how much I adored his clothes. They didn't fit right, but they somehow looked perfect on him. I could never pull it off, not many boys my age could. But Theo? He'd look good in anything.

I groaned in frustration, storming out of my bedroom and knocking hard on my sister's door. "Vera! I need your help."

She opened several seconds later, glancing up at me curiously. She smiled sweetly, perhaps surprised that I was actually asking her for help. That was rare. "What d'you want?"

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into my bedroom. She followed curiously, her eyes falling on the open closest. "Okay, if you liked boys-"

"I do like boys." She frowned in utter confusion.

"Okay, great. So, what should a boy wear to...uh..."

"A date?" She rose her brows, smirking smugly, leant against my cluttered desk.

"Forget I asked." I grumbled.

"What? Luca!" She exclaimed happily, "This is so exciting." She squealed. "Who is she? Is she pretty? Is she blonde? Does she have any-?"

"Yeah, blond." Was all I said. "So, can you help or not?"

She shoved past, examining my wardrobe carefully, "Je kleren zijn lelijk." She chuckled to herself, causing me to roll my eyes. "What about this?" She pulled out a tattered Blink-182 t-shirt, faded with time.

"I've had that for years, no one listens to them anymore."

"You do." She challenged.

"Well, what if they don't like Blink-182?" I shot back.

"Then they don't like you...?" She stated as if it was the obvious answer. "Oh, come on, Luca, they've been your favourite band ever since you started learning English."

I snatched the shirt, stuffing it back in closet, "It's too cold for short sleeves anyway."

"I don't know." She threw her hands up helplessly. "Surely you know what she likes more than I do."

"I don't know what she likes on me."

She sighed, grabbing my usual leather jacket and shoving it into my chest, "It's cute that you're trying but if she doesn't like you in your usual clothes, then it's not worth the effort."

I turned to her desperately but she'd already left the room, wishing me a good time on my date, giggling as she shut the door. I grunted in annoyance, hoping Theo wasn't too repulsed by the smell of weed on my jacket. The reason I was acting so weirdly about my clothes was because I was reluctant to remind Theo of what a fuckup I was. If I showed up with scruffy hair and leather, that would only succeed in polluting his innocence further. I wasn't one hundred percent certain, but I was pretty sure I'd already stolen his first kiss. I didn't want to steal anything more of his.

But it looked like I didn't have much of an option. After shrugging on the over-worn jacket and lacing up a pair of scuffed, burgundy dr martens, I ran my fingers through my hair, untangling the loose knots while still trying to keep it as messy as possible. I told my parents I was going to Phoenix's - hoping that Vera wouldn't tell them anything - before leaving the house.

The drive to Theo's house was silent. The radio was playing up, but that was okay. It gave me time to think. Time to freak out over the fact that I was going on a date. With a boy. A couple of months ago, I'd have laughed at the mere thought of being interested in anything other than casual sex. But now? I was nervous. For my date. With a boy.

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