Dreamer { Book 2 }

Chapter 8 - One Step At A Time

TWO WEEKS LATER

I wake up to a headache, tear stains on my cheeks and sweating as I have for the past two weeks. While I have been able to somewhat keep my thoughts off the event that happened my sleep has been filled with nothing but nightmares. I haven't talked to Noah or Ares about it and while they have both been supportive I see them stare at me sometimes. I sigh as my thoughts start to go haywire again and get out of bed to get ready to go to the academy even though it's only 4:30 in the morning. I take a hot shower and get dressed in jeans and a grey sweater. I start to make breakfast and coffee. I make at least three cups of coffee knowing I'm going to need it, since I haven't been able to get more than 3-4 hours of sleep in the past weeks. I try to stay awake as long as I can until my eyes start to droop due to exhaustion and even then a nightmare wakes me up within 4 hours and I can't go back to sleep. So I have formed a routine that I follow every day. After waking up I get ready, eat breakfast, practice new techniques that have been taught and then go to the academy. I pour a cup of coffee and then put the rest of it in a thermos since I would need it to stay awake in the classes.

I start to paint with an airbrush which is the newest technique that has been taught at the academy. The only good thing that comes out of these nightmares is that I can practice more and it has helped me improve my grades. I got an A for the sketch of something that caught my attention and then for last week's assignment I got another A. Today I'm supposed to submit my latest assignment which is to recreate any famous painting. I chose Starry Night by Van Gogh and had to make five times before it looked like his painting or well close to. For the next hour, I try to create a basic scenery using the airbrush. I end up making a mess and pack my things as the clock shows 6:30 before checking everything and locking the apartment and heading towards the academy. As the classes go by I find myself trapped in my thoughts more and more. And the only thing my thoughts seem to want to drift towards Jason and I almost have an episode which seems to happen more times a day as days go by. An episode is when I get so trapped in my thoughts that when I snap out of it I'm either crying or I'm suicidal. It has happened twice in class now and more than enough times at the penthouse for both Noah and Ares to notice but neither of them pressure me to say anything. After taking my logbook I go towards the penthouse not checking my grade since I know it wasn't good.

As soon as I reach the penthouse I go towards my room to change into some workout clothes registering that Noah is in the kitchen while Ares is nowhere to be seen. After changing I go back downstairs and into the kitchen, "Can we start?" I ask Noah and he turns to look at me before nodding. "Sure. Why don't you start with the machines? I'll just finish making lunch and come upstairs." Noah tells me. "Okay," I reply before going to the training room and start with the machines. About half an hour later Noah comes up and we start sparring. As I'm about to deliver the last hit which would lead to me winning I feel dizzy and stop my movements. I feel Noah's hands hold onto me as my vision starts to clear again. "I'm fine," I say as I gain control over myself again. "No, you're not. What happened?" Noah asks me while holding me in place. "It's nothing. I don't know what happened. Let's start again." I tell him but he doesn't let go instead holds on tighter. "No. You have to talk Elle. You're not okay and you need to talk instead of just bottling up everything. You're just hurting yourself. Please, Elle." Noah pleads. "I'm fine. I don't want to or need to talk." I tell him while starting towards the door. Noah follows me as I go downstairs and hopefully out of here and back home.