Chapter Fourteen

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BROOKLYN

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BROOKLYN

If you had a chance to rewind time and do things differently would you? Not make the same mistake again and be able to live a life with no regret?

I would like to go back to last night and not even think about going over to Spencer's. Why did he kiss me and why didn't I stop him? This is all so confusing right now. I'm with Liam and getting married in four months.

My head aches as tears fall freely down my cheek. What am I going to tell Liam? How am I going to tell him? I don't know what to do. In my mind, I love both of these men. Liam is loyal and perfect. Spencer was my first love and always has an annoying way of sneaking into my mind.

I put a pillow into my lap and squeeze it. I may be dreaming or having an emotional nightmare. The thoughts, that won't go away, keep beating my brain as tears flow down my cheek.

All of a sudden the doorbell rings. I hope that isn't anyone, but Tori. I quickly wipe away the teardrops and look in the mirror. What I see is nothing like the lovesick girl I was three months ago. My hair is dull and needs a wash. My eyes are red and puffy. I'm still in the clothes I wore last night. Right now I am just one big, fat mess.

"Hang on!" I yell as I try to wipe the mascara that was smeared by my eye.

Once I finally open the door, I am greeted by Liam. My heart hurts just looking at him. His eyes look over me with so much love. Don't love me, Liam. I'm not worth it.

"Hey, have you been crying?" He asks with worry in his voice.

"No, something was just in my contact lens." I try to smile.

Liam steps into the doorway and grabs me by the waist. His lips come down on mine before I can blink. All I can do is compare what Spencer's lips feel on mine. His lips aren't as full as Spencer, he doesn't stroke my cheek as Spencer does, and he doesn't kiss as passionately. I hate myself for making a comparison, but it is all I can think about before we pull away.

"How was the trip?" I question.

We are now moved to the sofa and I attempt to keep a distance between us.

"It was good quality time with my dad. We fished a lot and of course, I missed you the whole time," I blush once he pauses. "How was your day?"

"Fine," I lie. "I hung out with your mom then came back here and crashed."

I couldn't tell him about the kiss. It was just one meaningless kiss with no strings attached. Maybe if I act like it didn't happen then it will just disappear.

***

SPENCER

I missed her. I miss the way her lips moved against mine. The way her hands tangled in my hair. I still loved this girl and I prayed she felt the same way. She wouldn't have kissed me like that if she didn't and for once it felt like we went back two years when we first started to date.

Brooklyn was like fire. She was hot and unpredictable. She can make you warm and cozy inside or not show up and make you feel cold. She is like the light that shines in the middle of the room when you're in the crowd. Your eyes are just drawn to this energy that no one can explain.

Then it dawned on me, we are flames in the darkness of each other's worlds. We burn brighter together than we ever did alone.

My mind is going crazy with all these thoughts. I need something or someone to distract me. That's when my body begins to move faster than my brain and before I comprehend what I'm doing, I'm out the door. Now I'm in pursuit of finding anything to think about other than Brooklyn.

***

I was on a mission. A mission to forget her for one night. I don't know where to go or what to do, but I will find something. Anything at this point will settle the need.

Brooklyn will never be mine. I will never hold her in my arms. I will never come home after a busy day at work and kiss her. I will never have her right beside me as we sleep peacefully. I just will never have Brooklyn.

Every time I take two steps forward with her it's five steps back. It's almost like I'm a lost planet orbiting slowly away from the sun. The source that it needs for life.

I never should have left her. I should have stayed and loved her unconditionally. I should have proposed to her when I had the ring. Why didn't I propose when I had the chance? I should of, but then I got that call. The call that my dad was in the hospital. Only if I just would have gotten on one knee that day. Now, I am left with nothing. Just a girl to pawn after.

She is worth it. She is worth every agonizing second of misery. I will fight for her until the final I do. I won't let her be taken from me. Just maybe the planets will fall back in line.

I look in front of me to see the club I got drunk at. My mind instantly finds a way to bring Brooklyn into the situation and remembers her picking me up. Her car smelled just like her...

I pull open the door and I am greeted by flashing lights of all different colors. The lights light up the way to the bar.

Alcohol.

I need it now. I want the burning of the tequila as it goes down my throat. So, that's exactly what I do.

Shot after shot goes down swiftly. My head is spinning just like I want it to and I know I will regret this in the morning once the headache kicks in.

"Hey," a girl says into my ear.

I look towards her to see the same girl that was here the night I got drunk. Stinky. She doesn't smell as bad now and I know that she is the right person. I want my mind gone. I need it.

"Hey," I reply smirking.

"Why don't we go to my place?" She murmurs and I shake my head.

"My place will be much better," I whisper.

Before I know it we are at my place and I'm trying to forget about her for one night.

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