All I Want

15

After Taehyung brought me back to the car, my limp body was overwhelmed with emptiness. I had nothing left. Nothing worth trying to escape for.

"Are you alright, my love? You haven't spoken a word since we got in the car." He said about two hours in to the drive.

I didn't respond.

"We'll be home soon. I can make us hot chocolate tonight and we can watch some movies, okay?"

His tone was unsettling, especially after the fact that he just murdered my fiance.

I didn't speak to him the entire ride home. I was brain dead, really.

Once home, Taehyung picked me out of the car, bridle style, and brought me inside. He laid me on the sofa and went to go make some hot chocolate. When he came back with two mugs in his hands, laying them on the coffee table, he pulled me close to him into a hug.

"I can't believe we can finally start our lives together now. No interruptions." He smiled.

"What are you going to do to me now?" I muttered in apathy.

"Hmm, well I was thinking we should get some vows ready and have our own little wedding here at the cabin. After that, well you know.." He began to blush.

"And what if I don't want to." I replied.

"What?"

"What if I don't want to marry you? What if I don't want to have children with you? What if the thought of life with you makes my stomach turn?" I said, my face entirely expressionless.

"Uh- well- y-you just don't know what you want, dear. I'm the one in charge of decision making around here, you know that." He laughed nervously, stroking my cheek with his large hand. 

"And if our child cries too much, wets his diaper too much, makes a mess too much, will you slap him across the face too? Will you lock him away in a closet for a few nights to teach a lesson too? Will you kill someone he loves more than you too?"

"That's enough!" 

"Face it, Taehyung, you can never be a father. A real father, one that loves and takes pride in his child's mistakes and triumphs. You'll always be a monster; not even the worlds most innocent creature could fix you of that."

"I said that's enough!" He yelled, gripping my chin roughly and bringing my face to his snarling one.

If it had been a few days ago, I probably would have flinched or submitted to his actions. But I didn't. I just- looked at him. It was like all the fear I had for him just- vanished.

"Let go." I said calmly.

"What?! You must really have a death wish if you have the audacity to give me orders, Mai!"

"Let go." I said once more.

Taehyung then stood up, my jaw still in his grip and his other hand behind my neck, then he threw me across the room. I stumbled into the kitchen, catching myself on the table.

He then began to pace, "what is wrong with you?!? I've done everything for you! I got rid of the only things in this world that could hurt you or plague your mind and it was all for nothing! You are so incredibly disobedient-"

"I said to let go!" I screamed at him.

He stood frozen, anger and awe swarming his face.

"I know what's in my best interest! I know what isn't safe for me or what could plague my mind! You! You plagued me! And you're that insane that you haven't realize that!"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I should lock you in that cage for a week for the tone you're giving me now!"

"Do it! Starve me to death! Beat me to death! Kill me so I can finally be free of you and what you've done to me!"

Taehyung then ran over to me, taking a fist full of my hair and dragging me to the wall where he then slammed be against it.

"You ungrateful little-"

"You're proving me right, aren't you?! That not even a baby, more disobedient, more annoying than me could never soften you!"

He took his other fist and bunched it at the wall next to my head, leaving a hole in the drywall.

"Mai-"

"Please kill me."

There was a silence.

My eyes began to water, not from fear of him but of just wanting to rest, wanting to finally be free of everything I've been through.

But suddenly, he stopped. His strong hands leaving my pinned shoulders and his tense body relaxing.

"Don't you get it? Your punishment for leaving all those years ago, is this." He muttered.

What? D-did he mean- making me want to die?  This was all just a- revenge scheme?

"Don't get me wrong, Mai, I still love you with everything inside me, but you deserved this." He said with disappointment then began to walk away from me.

I deserved this? I deserved this?! Ugh! Being angry would be a total understatement right now! Ugghhh! I just want to- I just wanted to- kill him!

I ran up behind him and jumped on his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing as hard as I could.

"I hate you!!!" I screamed.

"Mai! Ge-get off!!!" He growled.

I began to scratch at his face and eyes, "you took everything from me! And you don't even have the balls to kill me! How pathetic!"

Suddenly, he quickly backed up against the wall, slamming my body against it and causing me to let go and fall. He spun around and wrapped his hands around my neck, his long fingers squeezing tightly, then lifted me up in the air, my legs dangling off the ground as I gasped for oxygen.

"Why?! Why can't you just love me! You always call me a monster! But everything I do is because of you! I just wanted to be the only person you ever saw, ever wanted! You just don't understand anything!!"

I never imagined how bad suffocation hurt. It was like my brain was about to explode and no matter how hard I gasped for air Taehyung's hands stopped any from passing through to my lungs. He was killing me.

"You're so ungrateful of me, Mai! Why can't you just be who I've always dreamt you to be? Why is it so hard to love me back?!" He cried.

He squeezed so hard and shook my so roughly that everything just, went black.