ALPHA || TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET

023

Just before the apartment front door closes behind me, Lara greets me from the kitchen counter.

"You must've had quite the night."

I force an enthusiastic grin, hanging the keys on their hook before walking to the counter.

"So? How was it? Do tell," she says. But in the language only we share, you can tell that the double-meaning is what happened afterwards, and why were you gone the whole night? Spill the tea.

"It really was so fun. [REDACTED] and Violetta were there. And Lucas. Lucas Hedges. It ended when he got shit-faced and sick on the floor and had to be taken home."

She's stunned at the star-studded names. "Tell Lucas Hedges he can throw up on our floor anytime he wants."

"Gross."

"Can I come next time? Pretty please."

"Please do. I'd love nothing more."

She notices my hidden demeanor at last. "You okay? Were you shit-faced too?"

I shake my head, grimacing.

"Alright. Anyway. Hook up with any Academy Award-nominated actors?"

I muster a chuckle, rubbing my forehead with my index and thumb.

"Ah, you and Chalamet, my favorite pair of fuck buddies. But that's not a good look. Was it not good?" She rests her chin on her knuckles, propped up on the counter. "What happened?"

Now home, and with Lara being my safe place, I feel a weight come down onto me as I begin to break in front of her. "I fucked up."

"What did you do?"

"I spent the night with Timmy."

"That doesn't sound like fucking up." Her face changes. "You spent the night. And it was bad?"

"It wasn't bad. Not one bit, not at all."

"So what's going on then?"

"Lara, he just might be perfect."

"Oh my god. You guys really went and mixed the feelings with the fucking. Holy shit, Marley, you're with the Timothée Chal—"

"No. I'm not with anyone."

"Oh?" Her change in expression tells me she finally understands. "Oh. I see. Okay. You're okay, hon."

"I have no fucking clue what I was thinking. It's really all too good to be true." I take a seat at the counter. "I'm not gonna do this to myself again. I can't do it."

"Are we talking about it?"

"Not right now."

She fills a mug with coffee that looks like tar and slides it in front of me. "Medicine." I sip gratuitously.

"Can you just talk to me about you? I feel like I haven't really seen you in so long. Our schedules are opposites. Talk to me about you." I smile at my best friend.

And she does. She says there isn't much to know, but proceeds to fill me in on her work gossip. It's a nice distraction from everything; drinking coffee all morning, sharing in the intimacy of all our inside jokes in the home we share.

We end up taking a walk to the local market for groceries, and end up splurging on a bottle of wine and several new boxes of cereal. We stop for coffee and fresh donuts, buy flowers from the street vendor, and end up walking the long way home. Laughing like kids, breathing in that busy New York morning air.

My mood shifts to emulating the sun, feeling the cool breeze, wrapping my cardigan tighter around me. As I look towards passing clouds above the city buildings, hope unveiling itself, what euphorically crosses my mind is I do hope that I see him again.

--------

a/n: this chapter was shit until i sat down to watch frances ha (GREAT film 10/10 recommend) and it definitely inspired more life into this chapter so hooray! also! been planning out this story so much an you GUYS I'M SO EXCITED. NOT TO HYPE MYSELF UP OR ANYTHING BUT. YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE SO SHOOK I'M EXCITED AS HELL