Chapter two_(02)

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••Its like I keep saying I can't,
But life keeps showing me that I can••

      
        Mom showed hers and my ID to the gatemen so they would allow us in, and as she drove into the school compound, my heart rose in my chest. Whether it was from happiness or nervousness, I don't know. I just welcomed the freedom with open arms.

Some students had arrived and most could be seen piling around in groups as they waited to be sorted into their respective dorms. It was a Sunday and classes didn't start until Monday, therefore, only the boarders were in school so they could settle down well before classes began.

Mom drove down to the parking lot, a few minutes away from the reception block and I got out of the car as soon as she parked. Mary got out after me and we both pulled our boxes out of the trunk, after which I carried my school bag and prepared to start walking to the reception to get my schedule and other information that we would need.

"Hey, no goodbye hug for me?" Mom’s voice cut me short as my steps halted on the pavement. Goodbye hug? Was this some sort of joke? But I pulled a smile on my face nonetheless and turned around.

"But of course," I managed to say without grinding my teeth as I walked towards her and then stoically wrapped my arms around her in a brief embrace, her expensive cologne almost choking me to death. I glanced at Mary and she just gave me a sympathetic look; she knew how I felt about my family.

"Be good okay? I love you." my hands fell around her limply as he said those words and anger coursed through my veins at her audacity to say such scared words meaninglessly. I love you. Honestly…

"Do you really?" I raised my chin to look into her dark brown eyes, making damn sure my anger shone right through my words and my hopefully, menacing glare. I saw a flicker of hurt flash in her eyes, her arms falling to her sides as she took a small, unconscious step back.

"Of course I do, do you ever doubt that?" The hurt in her eyes was gone in a millisecond and the woman I’d always known slipped into position, regaining the wheel and tossing the lovey-dovey façade of lies aside. Her eyes hardened, flicking over to Mary in a split, almost unnoticeable second as she silently dared me to disagree. I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry with the onset of presiding angry tears.

"Never," my reply was a simple lie and I watched her red-painted lips turn up in a satisfied smile, then I grabbed my box and walked away. The tears were only a stone’s throw from rolling down my cheeks, but I would never let them fall. No, not for that devil of a woman! How can my own mother do that to me!

I was so overwhelmed by sadness and anger that I didn't realize I was walking too fast and a group of people were in front of me until I ran smack into one of them.

"Hey watch it!" A female voice screamed but I couldn’t make out her face through the hazy curtain of tears that now blanketed my cheeks shamelessly.

"I'm so—" I started to roll out an apology, but someone cut me off.

"Oh it's Mayo, the 'dumb mistress' Let her be Clara, she's always so clumsy and dumb?" Another voice I definitely recognized said and they all burst into mocking laughter.

Why oh why Lord! I had been so concentrated on leaving my hell of a house, that I had completely forgotten about my school demons—Stephanie and her posse of idiots. They always picked on me and I always let them...not because I couldn't fight back, but because of my…health condition. I couldn't let them know about it and I didn't want to hurt anyone.

I've never for once said anything back to these bitches, but not today. Today I didn't care if I hurt anyone...my own mother didn't even care if she hurt me.

I wiped the stupid tears that managed to escape and turned to Stephanie. "Did you just call me dumb?" My eyes narrowed into slits and I knew that was a stupid question that needed no confirmation, but I grappled for a preamble and that was all I found.

"I thought you said she was dumb, how come she talks?" The one called Clara spoke up in an altered accent and they all laughed yet again. She was probably a new student cause I've never seen her face around before.

Ehn ehn...so she thinks she's the boss already even though it's just her first day?

"And who might you be? Pardon me, but you seem like the least wise one in this posse of stupidity," I said and watched her extremely fair face loose color...if that was possible.

Nawa o, I wonder what brand of bleaching cream she used that helped her achieve a dream that even hypo can never achieve.

She started to say something, but I didn't give her the chance to. I was simply too furious to. "Just shut up! I don't want your disease carrying spit on my face. And you Stephanie, I have just two words for you—Be careful." I said and then walked away from them, anger boiling deep in my veins, both at my lack of great comebacks and at myself still, for crying tears that weren’t worth it.

They started shouting and yelling for me to come back but I ignored their barks and made my way into the reception, blood steaming in contempt towards myself. A few students were there already so I just joined the queue and waited for my own schedule.

I was still angry, angry was even an understatement and I knew something could go wrong, so I just took deep breaths and moved along with the slowly proceeding queue.

"When did you develop liver to talk back to Stephanie?" Mary's high-pitched voice suddenly came from behind me and I rolled my eyes, willing her to go away as I wasn't in the mood for teasing.

"Is it not you I'm talking to ni? Answer me joor!" Her persistent nature prevailed and I sighed and then turned back to look at her.

"When I realized I couldn't rely on my best friend all the time," I said, my tone sharper than intended. The deep breaths had done no good job and I felt my anger re-surfacing as I stared at her beautiful dark face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She challenged, her brows furrowing in gradual annoyance.

"You were there all along while I was crying and accidentally bumped into them, weren't you? You saw how they called me dumb, didn't you?...what did you do?" The questions I'd been harboring since I became a secondary school student dealing with bullying came tumbling out.

"I—" she tried defending herself but I didn't let her.

"You what? Held back and let them do whatever they wanted? Yes, you stood up for me when other people picked on me, but when it came to Stephanie, you just suddenly disappeared. All the while you were watching from the sidelines and letting them have their way...why?" My voice rose, angry tears threatening to slip out.

"Because...Stephanie is...See never mind, I'm sorry okay? I didn't know what to do and I was scared of what they might do to me if I tried to help you," she pleaded and I just shook my head and wiped furiously at the stupid tears that managed to escape. I just didn't want to deal with her lies at that moment—I was too furious to.

"It's okay. Please just leave me alone now," I said and prayed that she would listen and go away cause I could feel it now...the crazy part of me. It was screaming to be freed.

"I know you don't believe me Mayo, but it's the truth. Those girls really scare me and—" I couldn't hear anything she was saying again. My mind felt detached from this world as the other me took control. My other self's legs moved on their own accord to the front desk and picked up the flower vase on the desk. I don't know how, but I saw the vase aim for Mary's head and the last thing I heard was her scream and the shattering sound of glass before I collapsed to the ground in a convulsing spasm, foamy saliva dribbling down the side of my mouth.

I did warn her, didn't I?









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