Say You'll Remember Me (Lukercy)

Chapter 26

The letter was already stained with tears when he received it, but now it seemed as if the whole page was soaked through. Luke wanted to say something at the funeral, that was the bare minimum of what the boy deserved -even though Luke knew Percy deserved far more- but he couldn't even accomplish that. He just sat there, staring down at the scrap of paper, letting people who barely knew the boy, tell the story of him.

He had held in his tears for the whole funeral, not wanting to disrupt it, but now, while sitting at the headstone, he had no reason to not cry. He designed the stone himself, blue rock with etchings of seahorses and dolphins. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, cross-legged, reaching out and touching the stone, running his fingers over Percy's name, but the sun was beginning to set, and he knew that Chiron would soon arrive and take him back to camp.

He looked back down at the letter, reading the words that, at this point, he had almost memorized.

Luke, I love you so much, I just wanted you to know that, and I guess that's why I'm doing this. I don't have near the amount of time that I'd like, or need, to express everything, but I'm sure as Hades gonna try.

You have done so much for me, Luke. From the moment we met, you were always there, looking out for me, and helping me when I needed you, and you'll never know how much that meant to me.

Luke, I could sit here, and try to say that I'm doing this all for you, and I partially am, I want you to be able to live, and grow old, and love, but I'm also doing this for me. There's no way that I'd be able to go on without you, and I'm not sure I'd even want to try. I know that this is what Artemis was talking about, this was the pain that she was going to cause, but I won't let her win, I won't let her take you, because you deserve life, even if I have to give up mine for you to have it. But I know you, I know that you're stronger than me, and I hate what I know this is going to put you through, because I know that you loved me just as much as I loved you, but I don't want you to give up. Can you do that for me, Luke, can you please try to move on quickly? I don't want you moping around when I'm gone.

I tried to make this note lighthearted to distract me from what I'm about to do, but I couldn't avoid this forever. I'm going to say it again, Luke, I love you so fucking much, don't you ever forget it. I kept my promise, and remembered you up to the very end, and I know I count on you to do the very same for me. I know you'll remember me, Luke, and I'm looking forward to getting to see you again.

Love, Percy

"Why, Perce?" He asked aloud to the stone. "Why did you do this? The warning was never for you" He sighed. "She knew you were the stronger one of us, not me. She knew that you would do this, that you're the only person who could do this." He cried for a few minutes before continuing, "I don't want to sound ungrateful, it was such a brave, selfless thing you did, but I just miss you so much. You know, the first thing that I asked when I woke up was 'where's Percy?' I wanted you to be the first person I saw, but instead, all I got was a crying, Will Solace. You never should have been drug into this battle, you shouldn't have been a pawn in her game; you deserved so much better. I loved you, Perce. I still love you, and we both know I'm not going to stop. If you can here me from Elysium, Percy, I just want you to know that."

Chiron trotted down the path, coming to take Luke home.

"Chiron, why did he die?"

"My boy, I don't know why people die. Maybe there is no reason that people pass. I like to believe that even though there is no good reason for our loved ones to leave us, their loss always has a lesson to teach us."

"What do you think I'm supposed to learn from this?"

"That's a question that only you can answer."

"It's hard to think of a lesson when all I feel is the pain."

"The pain isn't going away until you are strong enough to confront yourself." The centaur puts a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder, "Are you ready to go?"

Luke wiped the tears from his face and stood up. "Yeah, I think I am."

They started walking slowly down the path towards the camp van.

"So m'boy, I was talking with Dionysus and your father, and we have all agreed that it might be a good idea for you to take a break from camp for a while. We found a school that you could attend for next year while you recover from your loss. Is that something that you might be interested in?"

"I think so, sir. Everything at camp reminds me of him. When can I leave?"

"We could have you there as soon as next week."

"Thank you, sir."

"Luke."

"Yes sir?"

"I don't want you to use this as a way to run away from your troubles." The old centaur sighed. "If you don't face them, then they'll just control your life. I just think that sending you there will make it easier to come terms with what happened and to face your demons. Can you promise me that you'll try?"

"Yes, sir, I'll try. I'll try for him."