What You're Not | ✔

50. Collide

I survived my first week back at school. Fourth period wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I did get the better seat in class. Miles was forced to stare at the back of my head for an hour. I doubted that he was even phased by it. From the few interactions we had—passing assignments forwards or back—he seemed fine. Bored even.

After he returned the cheer uniform I had convinced myself that he was re-opening the door on us. That idea slowly faded away as the week went on.

Dr. Anderson thought it was all just an act and suggested I make the first move. As logical as it sounded, I didn't feel like I had the right. I'd feel like I was rushing him. It took me years to be able to move forward. I didn't want to pressure him.

The half-week made school a little more bearable. Christmas was coming up soon and that served as the perfect distraction from my love drama.

Nikki had come over so that we could do some Christmas shopping together at the mall. She also insisted on picking out her own gift from me, claiming it needed to be extra special because of our fight.

As we roamed one of the fashion stores with the little bit of money I had saved up over the year, Nikki looked like a kid in a candy store trying to find something to spend my money on.

"I do have other people to shop for," I told her when she picked up a fifty dollar purse. "I can make you one of those anyway."

She set the purse back on its display. "Do you know the emotional damage you caused me? How much it hurt knowing my favorite cousin wasn't speaking to me?" She asked, dramatic as ever. "Your arts and craft projects won't cut it. And didn't you just get a bunch of money selling your designs?"

"First, that money was for the cheer team's new uniforms," I pointed out. 

Jem, along with her trusty iPhone, managed to sell each of the items on a bidding app. Most of the items were sold to someone who'd bid double the starting price. Unfortunately, we still came up short by a few hundred dollars. I offered to make more clothes to sell, but they declined, practically banning me from the project, insisting that I've already done so much for them.

Last I heard, they were revisiting the bake sale idea. I'd had The Twins' mom's brownies before and I had no doubt they'd raise the money quickly.

"Second," I continued, glaring at my cousin. "Arts and craft projects? Just for that I'm not getting you anything."

"Wait, I take it back!" she called out, but I was already leaving the store.

I glanced over my shoulder, saying, "Too late, you're getting coal!"

I should've been paying attention to where I was going because next thing I knew I was crashing into someone.

"Sorry." I looked up at the stranger, only to realize it wasn't a stranger. "Cameron?"

His eyes widened behind his glasses and then dart to the left. I followed his gaze to find Miles, who was currently fascinated by the window display of a shoe store.

"Uh, hi, Loren." He said my name louder than necessary, catching Miles's attention.

For a moment Miles and I just stared at each other. It was clear that neither of us knew how navigate the situation. After a few more seconds of the weird staring contest I was in, I turned to Cameron.

"Sorry," I said again before grabbing Nikki by the sleeve and walking away.

"Why didn't you say anything to him?"

"He doesn't want to talk to me," I said, feeling sure of that. "What was I supposed to say anyway?"

"I don't know..." she said. "You could've told him what you've been telling me. Like how much you miss him and that other mushy stuff."