Torment (age regression)

Chapter 43

Trigger warning for this chapter. There's self harm involved. Nothing too detailed but I thought I'd just let you guys know 🙂 Enjoy!

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A few hours pass and Camila was still sat on the kitchen floor. She had adjusted herself so she was curled up small, leaning against one of the many cupboards and she had lost count of how many tears she had let fall, how many broken sobs she had let slip past her chapped lips.

She wanted her mama, that was for sure, she wanted to be held close and she wanted to be told everything was okay and that it wasn't her fault, but she knew she didn't deserve that, not after what she said.

Letting another choked sob slip past her lips, Camila frustratedly scratches the inside of her wrist with her nails desperate to feel anything but numbness. They leave bright red marks on her tan skin and for a while, she stares at it, entranced. It hurt, but maybe she deserved it. Bad girls deserved to be punished and she had been a bad girl.

She scratches at it again, this time harder and a satisfied smile appears on her lips when blood starts to spill, dripping to the floor.

Bad girls need to be punished, she reminds herself as she continues to scratch at her wrist. It was stinging now, badly, so much so it brought on a new round of tears but she couldn't find it in her to stop. She deserves it. She deserves to be hurting. She deserves to feel like everyone hates her. She was a bad girl. A stupid girl. A-

"Camila, what the hell are you doing?"

Jumping, Camila lifts her gaze up from her bloody wrist only to make content with angry green eyes. She whimpers, and knowing she was going to be punished even more, she scratches again. This time harder. She deserves it. She was a bad girl.

"Stop, now!" before she could blink, her hands were being enclosed in much bigger ones. She chokes out another sob, but doesn't try and pull her hands away. She couldn't find it in her. She was too weak.

Tearing up at the newly found damage to her baby's skin, Lauren lifts the girl into her arms and adjusts her so she was straddling her lap, one arm around her waist and the other still holding both her hands to stop her from doing any further damage, "why would you do that to yourself? Mhhh? Why are you hurting yourself like this?" She asks sternly, allowing a tear to fall down her cheek.

Camila lets out a heavy sob and buries her head into her mama's neck, "I deserve it. I'm a bad girl." She cries, trying to tug her hands out of the woman's grip so she could hug her properly.

Lauren was quick to pull her upright, her face stern despite the tears dripping down her own cheeks, "no, you don't deserve it. You absolutely do not deserve this" she tells her ignoring the blood that was beginning to stain her hands.

Camila nods, her sobs growing to the point being near enough hysterical, "I do mama, I hurt you. I'm a bad girl" she wails, her breath hitching.

Releasing the girls hands and allowing them to wrap around her neck, Lauren holds her close and climbs to her feet. Camila clings to her almost to the point of pain once she was situated, but knowing she wasn't about to tell her to let go, she keeps quiet and heads into the bathroom before sitting herself down on the closed toilet seat with the youngster on her lap.

"you made a mistake Camila. You let your anger get the best of you and you snapped. It happens to everyone but that's absolutely no excuse to think that you're a bad girl. Mama forgives you, okay? She forgives you so you need to calm down" she attempts to sooth, bringing her hands up to cup Camila's wet cheeks and using the pads of her thumbs get to rid the tears.

Camila coughs, her breath hitching again, "I'm s-sorry mama, I'm so sorry" she sobs, ripping her face out of her mother's grip before once again burying her head into her neck. She wants to climb off her lap, she wants to go stand in the corner and scratch at her wrist some more because she knew she deserves it, but she couldn't find it in herself to leave mama's comforting arms.

"I know you are, mama's already said she forgives you. Now please calm down. Take some deep breaths for mama." Lauren reassures, "There we go, good girl" she praises when Camila manages to get her breathing under control, pressing a soothing kiss to her forehead.

Body still jolting from the aftershocks of her sobs, Camila clings tightly onto her mama, scared that if she let go she'd be pushed away.

All Lauren wanted to to was sooth her baby but knowing she had to clean the girls wrist up, she reaches for the first aid kit sat in the draw next to her. She pulls out some antiseptic wipes and and a bandage before making eye contact with the youngster, "this is gonna sting a little, but we have to make sure it's all clean" she murmurs, tearing the package open.

Camila simply shrugs. She didn't care if it hurt, she deserved it anyway.

Sighing at the less than helpful reply, Lauren begins to clean her wrist up with the antiseptic wipe, quietly soothing her underneath her breath when she lets out a quiet whimper at the stinging sensation. She frowns when she notices the severity of the damage, but instead of dwelling on it and making Camila up again, she simply bandages it up before pressing a kiss onto it.

"No more okay? I don't want to see this happening again" Lauren states sternly as she once again pulls Camila close, sighing in relief when the girl nods against her neck, her hands gripping tightly to the back of her shirt.

She hums softly for a while, her arms securely around Camila's small frame and when she feels the young girl finally go still, she rises to her feet with the intention of putting her to bed. Her heart was still hammering from what she had walked in on earlier and every time she closes her eyes, it was all she could see. Her baby, sat on the floor deliberately hurting herself.

Shaking her head to clear her mind, she climbs onto her bed with Camila still in her arms and manoeuvres both herself and her baby until they were laying side by side. Her arm was underneath Camila's side and the girls leg and arm get thrown over her own waist, effectively keeping them close.

"Mama, nurse?" A quiet voice whispers causing her to look down. She was met with Camila looking up at her hopefully.

A soft smile gracing her features, Lauren was quick to nod her head as she tucks a strand of her behind her ear, "of course baby" she murmurs, moving her hand down so she could lift her shirt up. She doesn't bother with unlatching her bra and simply shoves the cup up, allowing Camila to latch on before she begins to suckle softly.

"Good girl" she whispers, making sure Camila had a good latch before bringing her hand back down so she could stroke soothing circles on her t-shirt clad back. The atmosphere was quiet for a while, the only sound being her baby's content suckles and despite how today had gone, she finds herself smiling.

She had missed this. Nursing that is and she was so glad Camila had wanted to do it again. Looking down, she was met with the sight of a drowsy looking Camila. Her eyes were blinking tiredly, almost as if keeping them open was one of the hardest tasks in the world and hand that wasn't thrown over her side was gently cupping her breast.

It was an action she had picked up when she was properly nursing with actual lactation.

Bending down, she presses a soft kiss to her head causing Camila's eyes to flicker to hers. Instead of speaking, she simply sends her a reassuring smile which causes the youngster to smile back.

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