Stitch in Time

Something inside me went still: turned to ice, frozen as I was, mid-breath; a smile half-formed, lifeless, on my lips. My heart protested with a silent 'no', while my mind went blank, unable to think – the blood rushing to my feet.

His eyes were cold but his voice was apologetic, "It's better this way, Lilly; I'm sorry."

I knew I had to say something but I couldn't get my lips to obey; I watched as he stood and left; I couldn't get my body to move, couldn't make my arms reach out to him. Disbelief etched in my heart my mind was trying to wrap itself around the situation: trying to make the pieces fit.

I went home, not remembering how I got there or how I'd decided on that action in the first place. My best friend was waiting to greet me; a shadow crossed her face, seeing something in my eyes that scared her, "Lilly?"

I barely noticed the ringing in my ears, or that I was starving; I dropped my stuff on the floor and got ready for my next shift and without remembering how I'd managed to, I got in my car and went to work.

"Charlie!"

"What?" My best friend's laugh rang throughout the coffee shop, "It's not like I asked him to jump my bones. It just happened." She rolled her eyes and smirked over the rim of her mug, "Although... that is quite an intriguing idea."

I shook my head, laughing. Trust Charlie to approach life so carelessly, "And what if he was some psycho serial killer? I'd have to read of the gruesome demise of a pretty local girl in the paper. Who will pay your share of the rent?"

"Don't be melodramatic, Lilly." Charlie blew me a raspberry and I rolled my eyes.

"So, are you seeing him this weekend?"

Charlie's face coloured slightly and her chocolate eyes melted, "He's taking me to Langley Park for a picnic."

I smiled at her, silently repressing the building ache that threatened to show on my face, "He sounds like quite the charmer."

"He's good in bed too!"

I laughed and scolded her for the second time, "Charlie!"

My smile froze in place. Something violent stirred inside me and Charlie frowned, glancing behind her, her mouth forming a silent 'O'. Shaking, I grabbed my purse, gave her money for the coffee and silently snuck out the back entrance and waited for her by the car. His words still sliced through my heart like razor blades and I cursed his soul to the depths of Tartarus, lighting a cigarette.

Charlie emerged from the coffee shop, her forehead creased by worry. It wasn't until she saw the expression on my face that she spoke, "Forget about it, Lilly."

"That asshole better stay the hell away from me! I swear to God I'll rip him apart with my bare hands!"

"Calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down, Charlotte! You have no idea what kind of hell I've been through since he left."

"I have a pretty damn good idea actually! Remember, I was there!" Charlie was angry now. Her face was red and her eyes bright with tears. "I was there when you came home!" She lowered her voice and I could hear my pain reflected in her words, "I was there when you stopped eating and I was there when you didn't stop crying."

"Charlie." I knew she was right.

"I was there and he wasn't. So don't you dare take this out on me! If you want someone to bitch at, why don't you take the fight to his doorstep for once."