Project: Socialize (Chapters 1-197)

42. What I Wanted

"G-girls?" My body tensed. "What about them?"

With crossed legs, she continued to play with her hair, twirling them in her fingers in a possible attempts at concealing her nervousness. However, I wasn't completely sure but what I can confirm was that her face was somewhat red. Maybe it was from the lighting, but I am certain it was red. Maybe she's embarrassed as well about the topic we were talking about?

"Just...about them," she whispered, looking away so as to avoid making eye contact with my bewildered gaze. "Like the anatomy and...where it feels good and stuff..." Her voice trailed off in the end and became extremely faint.

I wasn't able to say anything in response for I was captivated by that mysteriously erotic and seductive shyness that she exhibited. It made my heart race as I was exposed to a side of her that I had never seen before nor have I ever expected from her. Because of this polar difference from her usual calm and collected demeanor, I was intrigued by this sudden change in behavior, causing me to pay more attention on every part of her.

"Well..." I snapped out of that momentary lapse in thinking in order to progress the conversation and make it so that the awkwardness of the situation can be prevented from escalating. "The basics...yeah."

Loriana peered over at me, and then immediately looked away for a second and closed her eyes. Then, she took a deep breath.

"You know what these are, right?"

She pointed at the exposed skin on her chest that wasn't covered by the bathrobe. My eyes followed her finger and then onto the smooth, white skin on the exposed portions of her breasts. Immediately, more blood rushed to my face and onto my reproductive organ as her physical allure began working its effects even more on my body. Luckily, I had this pillow that I rested on my lap to cover my physical reaction with. In addition to that, I could now hear and feel my heart pumping inside my chest as its frequency increased.

"Y-yeah," I whispered, forcing myself to look away so as to keep my sanity intact.

"Well..." she began. "For women, having this part caressed often times feel extremely pleasing."

She pulled on the low collar of her bathrobe so as to show more of her breasts. However, as she did so though, she shyly looked away to the side. Maybe it was only when she's unable to see me that she can do actions of such sexual degree.

"H-have you ever felt a pair?" she asked. Her voice was extremely alluring as it was mixed with a hint of a shortness of breath.

I slowly began losing control over my mind as it forced itself to be centered around Loriana. Immediately, I was reminded of that night when she was drunk and I was...well...possessed? by Ralus's abilities and had felt her body over. That...weighed heavily on my consciences ever since, and the guilt had only recently gradually lessened.

"N-no," I lied and looked away.

The reason why I had lied was...well...to be truthful to her and also to conceal a fact to her.She holds no memory of that incident ever occurring because I had altered her memory, therefore in the world that she lived in, I had never felt them. In reality though, I had felt breasts but without her consent. It...it's an ominous feeling. The horror and fear of ruining our relationship prevented me from telling her the truth.

"You've never, huh?" Loriana whispered to herself.

I wasn't sure what she was thinking at the time, but I was consumed by that troubling guilt once again as it was brought up to my memory. I...I had almost violated her body and had laid my hands on her. That. I just can't get myself over that hunch and forget about it. I can't forget about it. Out of respect to her and to myself, I must suffer this torment.