41: Getting to Know You

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It's hard to believe that the man now sitting across from you, staring you down with cutely determined eyes that contrast hugely with the cross tattoo on his cheek and the piercings in his lip, was just moments ago sucking on your neck like a vampire draining a victim dry.

Jungkook leans forward with his elbows braced on his knees and rests his head on the upturned planes of his palms. "I'll start, okay? What's your favorite color?"

You wrinkle your nose, amused but put off.

When you said you wanted to get to know him, playing the small talk version of twenty questions wasn't what you had in mind.

You answer anyways. "Orange. Don't ask me why. My turn now?"

A tiny smirk tugs up the corner of his lips. "Orange is a terrible color. Proceed."

"Why are you afraid of the rain?"

It's a long shot. There's no way he'll answer that right now, but you might as well try.

Sure enough, Jungkook's face tightens into stone, his eyes shuttering into blankness. There's no flash of emotion, or warning of the change of mood; he just shuts down, like you've pressed the power button of a machine. "Pass."

"Are we allowed to do that?" you muse. "Fine, we'll start a little easier. Tell me about the tattoo you gave me."

With a hugely dramatic sigh, Jungkook throws himself back in his chair like a dramatic toddler, instantly regretting the action when it jostles his injured shoulder. "How is that any easier? I thought we were getting to know each other? Not dragging up every skeleton in the closet. You're killing me."

"You'll live." Leaning forward, you watch closely to see the emotions playing across Jungkook's face as he thinks. There's a slight hesitance in the tight line of his brows, mirrored by his tense shoulders, but his eyes are opening up to you.

This is what you meant, when you said you didn't know him.

Both of you have been through some awful things in your life, and while you're willing to share almost everything, he's still hesitating. You don't know where he's come from, or who he is.

These are the things you want to know before you embark on some romantic journey with him. You aren't in a position to put yourself with him like that if you don't trust him fully.

At this moment in your life, you have nobody to fall back on. Putting your trust in someone who you don't 100% know is truly looking out for your welfare is a move you don't know you can risk.

In other words, if Jungkook wants this thing between you to go anywhere other than down the proverbial toilet, he's going to have to share those little secrets with you, and vice versa. You have to open up to him too, about all the discriminate details of your restrained life with your family, and even though it might be a slow process given the history between the two of you, you have to start sometime.

To your relief, Jungkook takes the new subject matter in stride and leans back, resting a hand on his injured shoulder. "I made that a long time ago. When I first became part of Bangtan, I had just gotten my own tattoo and was kind of caught up in the spirit I guess. I designed that."

That's it?

All the big deal about not giving you this tattoo, and it's just because it's an old design? As you roll that around in your brain, you notice Jungkook's shifty eyes, the way he's training his eyes on a spot over your shoulder instead of looking you directly in the eye.

As someone who's been lied to their entire life, you've finally figured out what it looks like.

He's lying.

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