Desire ♡ Jungkook/Reader FF ♡ Completed ♡

What I Wanted To Say

Jungkook's POV

I couldn't sleep knowing the woman my heart still yearned for was only a few rooms away with my brother, my mind going crazy with possibilities of what they could be doing. I didn't like the idea of him touching her, the two of them sharing something which was once reserved for me and me alone.

Something you could've had if you hadn't walked away.

I needed to push these thoughts out and focus on putting what happened between us in the past where it belonged, she obviously had moved on and was happy with my brother.

I worked out for a little to clear my head and then took a shower, hopefully this would help my body to relax.

The water was a perfect temperature and for a moment I just stood there letting it wash away my pain and regret....this is your fault pabo. I knew it was, I knew the only person to blame for this was me. I was the one who made my choice, I picked my father and the business over Y/N and my brother was lucky enough to get the girl....my girl. I can't call her that anymore though, I need to stop calling her that.

I didn't hear the door open, I only looked up once she spoke.

"Jungkook! Don't you lock the door?!"

I froze, not even daring to look up. I was so used to living alone the past year that it didn't even occur to me that the door needed to be locked.

"What are you still doing standing there?!" I snapped yet when my head finally lifted my mood soon shifted, lips forming a devilish grin when I noticed her blushing.

"I....don't know. I was....erm....I'm going to go. I didn't see anything, I promise." I couldn't help but laugh as she covered her eyes and fumbled with the door.

"Y/N, it's not like you haven't seen it before." I turned off the water and grabbed a towel, securing it around my waist before stepping out. "I'm decent, you can turn around now."

"I don't want to turn around." I cocked a brow in surprise when her voice wavered, was she nervous? Why?

"Babygirl? What's wrong?" I furrowed my brow when the cute nickname for her left my parted lips, I didn't intend for that to slip out. I could see her entire body become tense and took a step closer...."Y/N?"

"Don't call me babygirl."

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to say that." I took a deep breath and gently took her wrist.

"Y/N look at me."

"What do you want Jungkook?" She slowly spun around, her words laced with annoyance and brows furrowed as if she was in pain.

"I don't want you to be so weird around me. I'm happy for you and my brother, this doesn't have to be weird."

It's very weird and I don't want you with him. Is what I wanted to say but didn't, I couldn't do that to Jin.

"Friends?" She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "You left for a year and never called or text me!"

I know, I'm sorry....forgive me. Is what I wanted to say but didn't, instead I replied with....

"You never text me either!"

I noticed the tips of her ears getting red, something that always happened when she was getting angry. I couldn't help the grin which pulled at my lips, that only made matters worse.

"What are you smiling at you asshat?! You think that you can just come back and be friends after leaving for a year well news flash you can't." I felt her slender fingers poke my bare chest as she let out all her frustration.

"You're fucking beautiful." I immediately felt guilty for allowing those words to leave my mouth but it didn't change the fact I meant them.

"You....what?" She stepped back, arms falling to her sides.

"You heard me, you're fucking beautiful. I love how your ears still go red when you're angry, I find it so darn adorable and you're killing me right now. I need you to leave before I do something I'll only regret, I don't want to betray my brother because he means the world to me."

Her mouth dropped open, eyes widening.

"I don't understand you Jungkook! You send so many fucking mixed signals, you say that I drive you crazy! Well guess what....you drive me insane and I can't get your stupid face out of my head!" I felt guilt surge through me, I never intended to make her feel this way.

I then noticed the guilt and regret which danced in her beautiful eyes, this was venturing into dangerous territory and we both knew it.

"I'm sorry." Is what I said but what I really wanted to say was...."I love you, I'm sorry for hurting you. I want you, I need you."

"I'm sorry too Jungkook, I'm sorry that what we had didn't mean anything to you, that you didn't even once want to pick up the phone and ask me how I was."

I heard the crack in her voice, could see the vulnerability swimming in those beautiful sad eyes. Do something, comfort her....tell her she means everything to you and that you missed her.

Yet I didn't.....I couldn't.

"Y/N...."

"Save it Jungkook....it doesn't even matter anymore. I'm with Jin and I'm happy, we need to forget about what we had."

"I don't want to." Is what I wanted to say but instead replied with...."Already forgotten."

I noticed the pained expression she was quick to hide with a scowl, it killed me to yet again make her feel like she wasn't special to me.

"Night Jungkook."

"Don't go....stay."

"Night Y/N."