This is the ungoing edited version of my first story ever, "The Third Wheel", which was originally posted in 2018.
WARNING: this is a polyamorous BxB story, with mature content. Not your cup of tea? = you might want to try and read something else...
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KYLE'S POV
For the first time in ages, Kyle had gotten a fair amount of sleep.
He hadn't slept well, not exactly. He and sleep had been at odds for years now. When he was asleep, Kyle was everything he had told himself never to be again.
Vulnerable to external attacks as well as to his own thoughts. Passive. Without control over his body.
He hated it, but unfortunately, it was impossible to just stop sleeping. So he did sleep, but only the minimum amount of time needed to stay alive and still manage to do well at training.
To some people, sleep provides a temporary relief from their mental prison. While they are asleep, they no longer have to carry their guilt, grief, or sense of unbelonging.
That wasn't the case for Kyle. He often had nightmares, where he was forced to live again the terrible night when he had almost rapped his best friend. His uncle was also a recurrent character of his nightmares, beating him to a pulp without leaving any marks, or belittling him in the most cruel manner he could think of.
The nightmares were horrible, yet the dreams were worst.
He dreamt about his mother, when she was still alive and would comb his hair while calling him her precious boy. He dreamt about Nate and Darren, back at the time when the trio was inseparable. He dreamt about his happy and long-gone childhood.
The dreams were worst than the nightmares, because they made the return to reality even harder.
Every time he had those wonderful dreams, Kyle wished he was dead. He longed to stay forever in this alternative world, where the ones he loved didn't leave his side. The dreams were far better than the reality, and thus, they underlined how bad his reality was.
These sad thoughts were almost always immediately followed by a gnawing self-loathing, because he could dream all he wanted, it was his own fault he had ended up alone. He was a rapist, a walking failure and a stupid Submissive, who had to take suppressants because he could never overcome his true nature.
His mates already knew he was a good-for-nothing wolf, but they didn't know - and could never find out - the true extent of his uselessness, hence the suppressants and the extra-hard training.
"Did you sleep well?" Nate enquired in a polite tone, as he ran a hand through his thick brown, hair, in an attempt to stylish them a bit.
"Not too bad. Thanks" Kyle mumbled back as he tried hard not to stare for too long at his adorably sleepy mate, who always managed to look ten times better than anyone else, with his radiant brown skin, his big hazel eyes and his naturally charming smile.
Darren hadn't been inside when Kyle had opened his eyes this morning, and he had assumed the Alpha leader had some business to take care of.
So, that was just him and Nate. Needlessly to say, the atmosphere was a bit weird in the tent.
