Nothing Wrong With Loving

Chapter 15: Tobias

I ignored Cecily's calls.

I didn't want to talk to her because Cecily had a way of making all of my problems disappear and as good as that was, right then I just wanted to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, where I was going. I could've thought about all that with Cecily but I wanted and needed to be alone. I just hoped she understood that instead of getting mad at me for it.

The good thing about Ceci was that she actually understood a lot of things, people's actions and words... I mean, she stayed with me for four years despite all the things I did and said, the way I acted. She stayed because she understood that some things were hard for me. She stayed because she loved me, even when I didn't deserve to be loved.

I ignored Kai's messages. Apparently, my father had called him, asking him if he knew where I was. I obviously ignored my father's calls too.

It wasn't them who I wanted to talk to. It was her, my mother, but she didn't care. If she did she would've called but she didn't.

I spent what was rest of the day hiding from those who knew me and the night, I spent it at the Theme park. Not the best place to spend the night but it was the only option if I wanted to be alone. I didn't have money for a motel or something. It was the theme park or the park and there were creepy people at the park.

When the clock hit 5 am, I got a call from Cecily. I didn't answer it; she left a voicemail.

I tapped my phone and when the lady said I have one new message and from who it was, I swallowed hard, preparing myself for either a pissed off Ceci or an understanding Ceci. Either way, I knew it was going to leave me with a heavy heart.

I heard her breathe in and make a noise with her tongue, I could practically see her, looking down at her shoes as she did this with her phone pressed to her ear.

"I don't even know what to say," She breathed out, a shaky laugh came out too. "Or where to even begin. I don't want to make this long because I'm not sure if these messages have a time limit and I do not feel like calling you twice just to leave a second voicemail." She laughed to herself, making me laugh.

"I... Ah, Nina." She sighed again, "Why do you always shut me out? I'm not mad, though... it's okay. I heard what happened, a lot of people were talking about it but who gives a fuck what they say? You're going to leave soon with Kai, aren't you? I hope you do leave, there's nothing in this shit town and I'd much rather visit you in Bristol than come back here to be fair." She laughed, I could tell she was trying to play it cool. Neither of us said what was going to happen once she left, I think neither of us wanted to know what was gonna happen in case it was bad.

"We used to dream about this day, remember? We used to... talk about the day we'd leave and all the things we'd do together. I'm leaving to go somewhere where you won't be and I can't explain how fucked up that is to me," I heard her sniff and it took her a whole three seconds to carry on. "I have no clue of what's going to happen with our lives but I hope and pray to whatever's out there that you don't forget about me because I know I will never forget about you. I love you, Nina. Please text me, okay? I just want to know you're okay. And like... just text me and call me. I love you."

And just like that, she hung up. I clicked two when the lady asked me to press one if I wanted to repeat it, two if I wanted to save it and three if I wanted to delete it. I think that's the only message I have in there.

I stayed at the theme park for about another two hours, just thinking when I sent Kai a text. I told him I was okay and that he had nothing to worry about, that I'd call him when I felt better and I also asked him if I could stay for a few days at his house. He texted back right away, telling me how he was worried because I didn't reply and that I could stay at his for as long as I wanted. He said that he had called the landlord of the flat we were going to rent and that his dad had already paid the two months in advanced that they asked for. The flat was nice enough, Kai had already gone to see it and sent me a bunch of pictures and a video. He even said we could get a cat, then made a joke about me being a cat kind of lesbian.