Finding Us| ✔️

Chapter 17

Why is life so goddamn complicated?

My first love is currently dating a girl that doesn't even like him. Literally. She likes girls, not guys. But he doesn't know that and he loves her, not me. And someone I thought was just my friend wanted to be more than that, even though he knew my heart belongs to someone else.

Sarah lay down on her side, propping her head up with her hand, while raising an eyebrow at me. "Well damn. I don't blame you for not really liking Beth, even though she's my girlfriend-"

"But she's dating someone else," I tell her, grabbing one of my pillows and hugging it to my chest. "They put a title on it, too. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Dating. Sarah, they're official, and she's cheating."

"She doesn't love him though." She says like that makes any difference.

I turn away from her and say, "He loves her."

"What?" Sarah sits up next to me, running a hand through her hair that's melted into a salmon-sunset color. "You never told me that."

The annoyance in my voice is evident. "Well of course. She's been toying with him for months. Obviously he'll catch feelings at some point."

"Listen," She starts, all serious, with everything else aside. "I'm not sticking up for her. She should own up to the fact that she was a coward and she did play games. I'm trying to encourage her to do it, but I can't force her."

I meet her eyes, which are a silver hue, meaning she is serious. "I know. And I... I'm not against you two, you know that. It's just- it's hard to get used to."

"Yeah, for me too." Her elbow gives out and she plops against the bed. "I don't know if I should tell my parents. She's still really against coming out."

I listen to her rant. She pauses before adding, "Sometimes I think she's ashamed of me. Like she's ashamed to have feelings and she... I dunno. I've never had a girlfriend before. Am I doing something wrong?"

"Sarah," I say, causing her to turn her head and step out of her own thoughts. "You're the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent girl I've ever known. She just doesn't know what to do with that." I laugh a little bit at the end, causing her to smile.

She nudges me a little bit. "Don't get all lovey dovey you oaf. But you're right, she's never had a girlfriend either, so she doesn't know how to handle it either."

"So you can figure it out together."

She smiles at me. "As for you and Kaden, I think it's a new start for you two. I'll convince Beth to tell him the truth, and you two can fall in love. Classic."

I smile. "Maybe. But he'll be heartbroken from Beth. I feel so bad for him."

"Exactly," She says. "And your his best friend, always will be. You have to be there for him even if he doesn't know how you feel."

"I hope he'll still want me to be his best friend after he finds out that I knew about Beth."

She goes silent for a second before saying, "You're going to tell him?"

"Of course I'll tell him. I tell him everything."

Or maybe I shouldn't tell him about Beth...

~~

Sarah slept over that night. We ate a lot of ice cream and then passed out watching "The Kissing Booth."

I woke up to her gone, and the only thing remaining was a sticky-note attached to my forehead that read: Had to go to church, Beth is supposed to tell Kaden later today. Good luck with him.... Love you beatch! Have a hoe-tastic day! Ok you get the point I love ya!

My sleepiness took over, making me flop back onto the bed with a satisfied sigh, before curling into the blankets. Once my eyes fluttered closed, I heard my phone go off.

Kaden's ringtone. Oh no.

I turn over and see the screen says "Egghead" as the contact, confirming that it is Kaden.

"Yello?" I ask in a sleepy voice, putting the phone up to my ear while rubbing my eyes.

I hear the sound of a car door slamming shut, hard, which makes me flinch. Then Kaden's voice comes through the phone, "Luce?"

"Um yeah?"

"Barry's ice cream shop in ten."

"Isn't it a little col-" I stop myself, taking in a breath and remembering that an unwritten rule is to always meet up with your best friend, especially if they need it. "I'll be there in five."

~~