Cheater | 박지민

十

"Now my forest is dark. The trees are sad and all the butterflies have broken wings"

Darkness. All around was pitch black. I couldn't see even if I stretched my fingers out, I wouldn't see anything but I could feel that I'm falling into a deep deep hole with no end to it. It reminds me of all my pains. Was this finally the end?  Has all of my worries and fear finally ended?

Soon, pictures of memories flashes by like a movie in a theatre. From a baby, till my first step into school and the best part when I got a prize for being the best kid in class. Middle school and high school passed by fast. Then, my favourite scene. When I first met Jimin there.

He was sitting on the dancing floor and hugging his legs as he looks down. His eyes seemed distant as if you couldn't make up what he was made of. But as I knock on the door to get his attention, he looked up and gave me a genuine smile which made me almost fall over my heels. The sun was shining behind him, making him look like an angel.

That was when my actual story started.

Jimin.

By the thought of his name, lots of memories with him flashes in before me. Each page it went, I missed him more and more. Faster and faster. I couldn't even get a glimpse what the picture was. So fast, it started to glow. Too bright that I had to cover my eyes.

In a blink, I could feel my fingers twitching, but with some warm between it. Oxygen started to flow through my lungs, my chest started to raise up and down. Pain started to fill me again as my eye lids flutter open. I'm back to reality. Unfortunately.

Soon the blurry pictures before me gather up and became a prefect puzzle. The pale white ceiling. The smell that reminds me the last time I saw my grandma. The records that was placed on the table before me. I blinked more a few times, before trying to get up.

But I couldn't. A weight was placed on my right arm. What made me go stiff yet touched. Million of feelings hit me at once. It was overwhelming yet it was numb. It was indescribable yet a simple word could explain it.

You were hugging my arm so tightly as if you never wanted to let go. Your eyes was closed, the side of your face giving me warmth as it transfers from you to me. The soft little pout you made as your lower lips sticks out, soft snores coming out from your sealed plump lips. So soft that it reminds me of nights when we whispers to each other's ear because we didn't want to laugh too hard and wake our neighbours up.

"Oh babe, why do you have to do that?" I shifted my position to get more comfortable and rested on my right shoulder to stare at the beauty of your face. My fingers traced the roots of your hair then to the end, pushing some hair out of your face.

"Can I still love someone who is a cheater?"

I thought for a second. But deep in my heart, it felt like waves roaring, shouting lots of answers. Even if it was betraying my own promise, with all the courage I gathered and disappointed that was kept in my heart for a long time ago, I kissed your forehead.

"I still love you, Jimin."

Tears started to fell down from your eyes too.