okay hello before you read this and yell at me remember that dani's confused and so is michael and so is ashton and so is luke and so is fuckin calum so keep it in mind that everyone's confused and they don't understand their feelings and all that shit alright bye
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Saturday night I was alone - again. It really wasn't anything new and I normally wouldn't be bothered by it, but tonight I felt different. And I felt bad about lying to Ashton, of course, but there was nothing I could do to try and fix that.
I called Luke and asked what he was doing (I also apologized, because I felt bad) and he said something about hanging out with Brooke, so I didn't want to bother them and be their third wheel yet again. I felt that I had been enough of a bitch to Luke in the past few weeks and I didn't want to make things worse, so I decided to leave him alone.
If things were normal again I would have called Michael and asked him to come over, and I really, really wanted to, but I knew that I couldn't. I was still having trouble figuring Michael out and I knew that both of us were still confused, and I didn't want to risk making everything even more confusing.
So since my parents weren't home (such a big surprise) and I had nothing else to do (even though I told Ashton that I did - I was still mad at myself about that), I was spending my Saturday night sitting on the couch and playing around on my phone, desperately trying to find something to do until I was tired enough to just go to sleep, because there was nothing else worth doing.
It was around 9:30 at night when the doorbell rang, and I took my own sweet time to go answer it. Obviously I didn't think that it was anybody important, so I didn't rush.
I should have rushed.
I pulled open the door to find Michael standing on the front porch. He didn't look any different than he normally did, just more tired and a little bored. Like he was unamused with the way I'd taken a little over a minute and a half to answer the door.
"Hi." I said, taking a step forward.
Michael didn't answer, he just folded his arms across his chest and stared back at me.
"Are you going to say something?" I asked, "Or are we just going to stand here and stare at each other all night?"
I was kind of trying to lighten the mood a little, just because I didn't understand why Michael was here. I mean, clearly he had a reason, but at the moment I could tell that he wasn't going to budge any time soon.
Michael cracked a tiny smile and took one step closer to me, leaning against the doorframe with his arms still crossed against his chest.
"Okay, I'm serious. Are you just going to stare at me?" I asked. Michael nodded.
"Do you want to come inside?" I asked, and Michael stepped forward into the house, allowing me to shut the door behind him.
"I've really missed you." I sighed, deciding to just come right out and say it. "And I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you upset you. I just wish you would, I don't know, just talk to me again."
Michael smiled again, biting down on his bottom lip. I was really trying to be patient with him and just ease him into talking to me again, but I was starting to get annoyed.
"Can you please say something?" I begged. Michael shrugged, the stupid smirk still on his face, and that just made me roll my eyes at him.
"Please, Michael. I just... I hate this. You're my best friend, aren't you? I'm supposed to be able to tell you anything and you're supposed to do the same for me. We shouldn't have to go weeks without speaking to each other. That's too much. I need you, Michael, you can't just shut me out for no reason. I miss you. I want you - " Michael cut me off.
