five | 5

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~ Trigger Warning: Brief mentioning of self harm. 

con·flic′tion

Céline.

"Rise and shine!" A perky voice spoke above me, caused me to jump in my own bed. I knew that voice very well.

I focused my eyes properly from the brightness of the sun to see my sister and her glorious presence. To be completely honest, I was truly surprised to see that she didn't have a man by her side. She was beautiful on the outside and on the inside; having both, brains and beauty. Then again, maybe if she was with one, she wouldn't be how she is now. People say that a relationship can slightly morph that person's personality in one way or another — even if it were small change. I wasn't even sure if that was a good thing. In my previous encounter, an unfortunate one, there was that change. Once that was gone, I worked on who I was, and improved to be a better version of myself.

Nonetheless, to say that Josie was stunning, was simply underrated. She was much taller than me, with dirty blonde hair that flowed down to her waist. Big, light blue eyes, perfect cheekbones, and a natural sun-kissed glow, defined her face. Her body was slim and slender, fitting for her — whereas, the curves settled onto my body. According to Josie, I look like my Mum. Fashion-wise, she wasn't entirely into it, like me, but we both knew how to look good on a small budget. 

Thanks to the help of her adoptive parents when she was growing up, and in the past few years, they helped her get through culinary school; and now she's a renowned chef, who's considering of opening up her own restaurant in the future. She thrilled that she doesn't have to rely on anyone anymore to get what she wants. Of course, she doesn't reject help or advice, whenever she needs it. 

Things got hard after when Hazel came into the picture — or a bit earlier, so I was told. Her parents were upset when she got pregnant at 21. At the time, she wasn't emotionally or financially stable. Even so, they were there for her in a heartbeat when she needed the support that abruptly took off and left. It was a hard hit when she was thrown to the curb as a pregnant woman, so at the time, she took all the help she could get. 

When Hazel was diagnosed, she was four at the time. It was just after that, when she decided to start the journey and look for me. She wanted to rediscover her family and introduce me to her. I could tell that Josie was afraid to be left alone in this world and she wanted somebody there by her side. Someone that was family and blood — she wanted her sister.

I wasn't upset with her that it took her twenty-two years to find me. She truly wasn't sure whether she wanted to find me or not. It was a bit selfish of her to think that she didn't want to share her new parents with someone else; but at the time, she didn't know it wasn't really possible for that to happen. I understood that, because I didn't know what 'family' truly was. I knew it was there — which was why it took me ages to finally accept her in my life. Considering everything, even if she were to try and find me before I turned eighteen, she would have gotten nothing and would have given up. Jumping around from several foster homes, all of my paperwork lengthened, was confusing, and quite frankly, entirely disappointing.

No one ever really wanted to deal with me. When Josie pushed for that trust and true belief that I was her sister, was when I began to feel apart of something. Before, I'd just felt alone and unwanted. I did everything for myself and one else. It put me on a content level. I was always proud of myself, but I had no one to share anything with. Not my achievements, not my emotions, not just my life. Now, I share it with two incredibly amazing people — and I couldn't be any more happier. To be completely honest, that's a lie. Every single day I spend with them, my joy increases substantially. I am so thankful for having them in my life. 

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