Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

cxlviii.

Jin found himself in a strange situation.

Strange, because it was a conversation he'd never expected to have with a person he'd never expected to have it with.

"So..." Jin fumbled with his words, trailing off and trying to find the conclusion he'd found earlier, the one that had prompted him to text someone he'd never expected to text.

A strange situation, indeed.

"I just wanted to say...thanks?" Why did that come out like a question? Jin asked himself, mentally groaning. "Thanks," he repeated, nodding as though that would somehow land more impact and confidence to his statement. "For helping. With Yoongi. And before that, with Jimin, when he was having a rough patch and...yeah. And for encouraging Hyungwon to be friends with Jimin when he didn't have any. And for being there for my brothers..." When I wasn't. "Just - thanks. You know. For all of that." It means a lot, Jin almost added, but he cringed as the words echoed in his head, sounding like a poor imitation of a store bought card. "Shit," he swore softly, realizing how much of a train wreck he must have sounded like.

But Jooheon's soft laughter made him look over. "I'd say you're welcome, but there isn't really anything that I deserve thanks for."

Jin stared at Jooheon. "You're kidding me, right? I've spent the past few years so focused on...everything else...that I didn't really pay attention to everyone around me, and while I was busy being a dumbass, you made sure that my brothers were safe and okay, physically, mentally...I mean, I wish I would have done it myself, but I'm glad that you did. Even if..."

"Even if what?"

"Well, even if our friendship sort of ended." Jin looked down at his hands.

They were sitting on the bleachers, and the metal was cold against Jin's butt, the chill seeping through his jeans and making him somewhat regret his decision to meet there, but it was an important place for Jin. The bleachers overlooked the empty football field, a field that held a lot of memories, good and bad, and the atmosphere was too charged for Jin to just let go of it. He was drawn back, for one reason or another, and it had just seemed like the right place to have this conversation. Plus, they were alone, and that was important for Jin too.

He looked over to see Jooheon staring at him incredulously. "You make it sound like it was unavoidable," Jooheon said, and Jin winced.

"Well..."

"Well, nothing. I'm not saying that you had to bring me with you into the land of cheerleaders and prom kings, but a hello every now and then wouldn't have hurt, Jin. When you made the team, you dropped me as if you'd never known me, even though I became a friend to you when you had no one else."

Jin's eyes traced him shoelaces, ashamed at his own behavior. "Why didn't you tell everyone?" Jin asked, still unable to raise his head. "You know. How I used to be. A loner. A weirdo. A crazy kid who talked to things that weren't there."

Jooheon shook his head. "Why would I tell anyone, Jin? Why do you make it sound like it's natural that I'd want to ruin you? Just because you stopped talking to me doesn't mean that I'd be mean enough to try to hurt you by trashing your reputation." His tone made it clear that he thought that Jin was rather stupid to suggest such a thing.

"Well...I thought you'd be angry...you know..." Jin mumbled. "I always felt sort of bad. I didn't mean to replace you, really...just, one day, I was a nobody and that was fine because I had you, and then I wasn't a nobody more, I was somebody, and-"

"And I wasn't enough," Jooheon finished. "Because I'm a nobody through and through."

Jin's silence was a guilty yet clear confirmation.