In Your Own Words

8. SUBJECT: HOLY SH*T

to: cassandra.belford@baderu.com

from: weston.maguire@baderu.com

subject: Holy shit

sent: February 15, 2017 at 11:07pm

Dear Cass,

Wow. I mean, seriously, wow.

I'm trying not to let it go to my head, but I'm getting the impression that my emails are actually pretty important to you, or, at the very least, to your book. I'm not sure if I agree with everything you said, but I see your point. I can get on board with an ongoing conversation. Because I get it---this matters. If you're willing to write back, you know, give me some feedback and talk to me, then yeah, sure. We can keep going.

I gotta say, it feels good to have a say in this, and I'm excited to read more of your writing. Your email was really great. Even though most of it was about your roommate, you still felt more like a real person.

I figured I could tell you about my roommates. I live with Peter, Jaz, and Will.

Jaz is a hockey player, too. He's actually our captain. Jaz is a good player, but he's an even better leader. Everyone likes him, and more importantly, we all listen to him. He's also smart, like, smarter than anybody else I know. He's going to law school next year. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up in politics. Jaz is the kind of person that they make movies about, if that makes sense. His family is from a small and rural town in India, and when Jaz was four they moved here with nothing. He's the first person in his family to go to college, and so he has a lot of responsibility.

When Jaz isn't on the ice, he's at the library. He got a huge scholarship, so his tuition is practically free, but he still works so fucking hard. He's also the only guy I know who never talks about how stressed he is. I think that he genuinely doesn't think he has anything to complain about. Jaz always greets the team with a huge smile, and says things like, "how's it going Wes?" or, "isn't this a great morning to be on the ice?" Not in a preachy way, but in a way that makes us forget it's 5:30am. We're not a great team in our scores, but we all get along because of Jaz.

Will is nothing like Jaz. He's not a bad guy, exactly. He's kind of the way that you described yourself: stuck-up, selfish, with a low tolerance for other people. (On a side note, is that true? I don't really know you, Cassie, but is how you describe yourself how others would describe you? At the bouncy castle party, I thought you looked pretty sweet.)

Will is not sweet. He never learned to play well with others. He's the guy who labels his stuff. Not just his food, but everything. The coffee maker is named Will. So is the butcher's knife and the kitchen radio. And the huge vat of olive oil in the pantry. I wish there was more to say about him, but unless he's pissed about something, he generally keeps to himself.

Lena doesn't live with us, but she's at our place often. She and Peter and I grew up on the same block, went to the same school, and have a lot of the same memories. Lena's pretty and, just as you seem to, she knows it. I used to have a crush on her in high school, right around the time she came out.

We were sitting outside, and Lena was lying in the grass trying to "get some sun." It was pointless. Lena doesn't tan. She burns.

I think we were talking about a TV show, I can't remember which one, when Lena made a big deal about telling a story.

I love Lena. She's funny, she's generous, and she makes the best cupcakes I've ever had in my life.

But the girl cannot tell a story.