40.

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I sat on the park bench staring at the flowers and shrubbery.

Everyone has gone and I'm alone. It's only me here that's left. I didn't know the time. My phone sat in my clutch bag next to me. I couldn't even bother pulling it out to check the time or call a taxi back to the hotel.

I tilted my head as I watched a lonely bee fly away.

I was wrong.

I took the risk I didn't want to take.

I was wrong. The risk backfired.

I rubbed my cheeks from any tears. I had stopped crying, but the tears dripped every now and then.

It felt cold as the sun was low. I closed my eyes and breathed in the nature around me. I could smell the flowers and dirt and plants around me. I rubbed my bare arms from the cold as small goosebumps appeared.

I couldn't do it. I would be miserable and full of regret if I did.

The faint smell of wood and smoke, leather and musk surrounded me.

My eyes flew open as I stared at the bushes in front of me.

Oh....

"You're late." My voice quivered. I felt something drop on my shoulders as I looked down at me.

A jacket.

I picked up my purse and stood up to see a miserable Oliver with his hands in his pockets.

The park bench kept us divided from each other.

"I'm sorry."

I let out a shake breathe.

"You're late." I repeated myself. I felt another tear slip by.

"I tried to get here earlier."

Neither one of us made an attempt to move.

"Percy told me you went and saw him."

"I wanted to know how you were doing." Oliver even sounded miserable. So he should. I feel miserable.

"I don't even know how I'm doing." I answered him in truth as I looked down. How am I still coping? I'm held together with sticky tape and glue right now.

"So... Did you..."

I looked up at Oliver then the ground. I took a breathe and went back to his grey eyes. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because," Oh God. I'm going to have to admit it to him. I moved to the same side of the park bench as Oliver and slipped off his jacket and went to hand it back to him. "You were right." I wiped a tear. He didn't take the jacket so I turned to the exit of the garden.

Oliver walked with me. "I didn't want to be."

"What?" I spun to him. "Be right? Yes, you did. I see it written all over your face. I agreed to do this with Percy because it was the only open option I had." I cried as I angrily wiped the tears away.

"I could lie to him, I could lie to his family, I could lie to you about all the reasons why I should marry Percy. But I couldn't continue to lie to myself."

"Then tell me the truth why you didn't."

I thought of how I could say this, but none of it made sense. "I can tell you why I was going to. But not why I didn't."

"Why can't you?"

"Because it doesn't make sense to me!" I yelled at him. "None of it does. I have gone through my life, jumping from one house to another and that made sense. I've worked countless jobs since I was a teen, that made sense. Being with Percy made sense." I ranted to him. He was barely an arms length away and I wanted to close that gap but I stepped back, my wedges sinking in to the soft grass.

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