SNS || jeon jungkook ✓

12. may

12.

As I am staring at Kim Taehyung on FaceTime, all thoughts cease my brain when I hear the words come out of his mouth. Although I had just figured it out in my mind, the fact that he's telling me this on an ordinary Tuesday evening is what scares me.

Things have been just boiling up for the last two weeks and I had no idea. My own mother knew I was talking to freaking Jeon Jungkook and didn't tell me. Do I feel betrayed? Or do I feel thankful that she let me get to know him before I knew?

How am I supposed to just act like this is all normal? Arguably the most popular idol group in South Korea knows who I am and a member is on FaceTime with me right now— and another member I have been talking to for weeks.

Why would Jungkook feel like this would change anything? My anger at him for lying to me returns and my star struck mentality dissipates when I remember that little fucker "lol"ed me during our text conversation.

My thoughts seem to go on forever, but only a few seconds have gone by. Tae is staring at me.

"Where is he?" I ask.

"He's... um... not here," I watch as he glances somewhere off to the side of the camera. I roll my eyes.

"Okay..." I pretend to believe him.

I have a little more sympathy for Jungkook's shyness now that I know it's him. Wait— is this what he meant when he said I would treat him differently? But now there is a reason as to what he was doing, right? I groan to myself and pick up my phone from my desk. I'm too anxious to just sit and talk to it.

"Well I just tweeted that I don't know anyone in BTS so now I'm a liar," I say and I regret my decision to tweet something out.

"No, no, I think it's good. Everything is fine, right? Just keep saying it didn't really happen."

I furrow my eyebrows at him, "Huh? You called me to make sure I didn't tell anyone about it? And my story?"

I feel pathetic now. The only reason I have Taehyung on FaceTime with me right now is to stop me from exposing the real truth that is going on here. I feel saddened by the fact that they can't even make friends online or anything because of some of their fans.

I release a deep breath and regrettably agree with his decision. I don't want to be caught in the middle of this either. I'm trying to make some money on my own here.

"What do I do now?"

I wish we were on the phone right now. It's incredibly hard not to break out into a huge smile of giddiness. I'm trying not to fan girl at him— because I'm better than that. He's just a person, Jae. But it's so surreal to think this is happening. Is it happening? I count how many I fingers I have to make sure I'm not in a dream.

"Jae!" I hear my mom yelling.

"Aish," I swear and panic slightly.

Taehyung is looking elsewhere at probably a shy Jungkook sitting in the corner. I hope that I'll get to talk to him eventually. My mom opens my door and I'm cursing at myself for not locking it again when David came in earlier.

I panic and hang up my FaceTime call with Taehyung.

She is holding a plate of spaghetti and a cup of water. I'm awkwardly hugging my phone in the center of my room. My face is flushed and I'm cringing on the inside. I just hung up on Taehyung and it was my mom's fault.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Yes," I say, but it's more like just a breath. Because I'm not okay.