The Betrayal

Chapter Eighteen

My eyes fluttered opened as someone lightly brushed their fingers over my cheek. Damon smiled down at me, his thumb trailing over my lips. Despite his hair still being tousled, his pupils were wide as if he's been watching me for a while. "Good morning, Love."

I parted my lips, taking a deep breath, and gazed into the forests within his eyes. "Morning."

Damon swallowed hard, his eyes traveling across my face. For a moment, a knot formed between his brows, but then it smoothed out and returned to a neutral expression. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek. He looked as if he wanted to tell me something. Knowing him, he wouldn't tell me because he didn't want to look vulnerable.

If I wanted to know, I'd have to ask. My fingers played with strands of his hair. "What's wrong?"

His tongue slid across his dry lips and he glanced away. He sat up, brought his knees to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. The muscles in his back stretched out and my eyes trailed over the light scars on his back.

"I'm sorry for last night."

What was he sorry for? Did he regret it? My heart tightened at the thought. I hoped he didn't. "What about last night?" I sat up next to him and grazed my fingers alongside his back. His muscles tensed at my touch.

"It shouldn't have happened."

My eyes widened. He regretted it? But... but I thought that this was what he wanted. "You-you regret it?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't. But, you do."

"I do?" I wasn't sure what sparked the thought. Grazing my fingers across the stubble on his jaw, I moved his chin, so his eyes gazed into mine. "I don't regret a single thing that happened last night. I loved every moment of it."

The corners of his lips tugged up. He softly cupped my face and placed a kiss on my lips. Leaning his forehead against mine, he sighed. "I-I just wish that I could've marked you before we did what we did."

"Why didn't you?"

His eyes flickered to Luca's mark on my neck and then back to mine. "I want to make sure that you're ready. I know I've messed things up in the past and almost marked you more than once without your consent. I've done some things to you that I regret so fucking much. I want this time... to be different. I need to be sure that this," he pointed between us. "Is what you really want. Because once I mark you, there is no going back. I'm going to give you everything I have."

I smiled and shifted on the bed, sitting in his lap and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was trying. He's been trying to be a better person for me. I couldn't be more thankful for him. "Thank you."

He nodded. "I wanted my-our first time together to be special."

My eyes widened slightly. Last night was his first time? He's never had sex with anyone else? Not even Alexandra? He waited for me. A sudden rush of regret coursed through me. I wish I could've said the same thing. Instead, I selfishly had sex with Luca, not caring about the consequences. That first night with Luca I just wanted someone to love me; it shouldn't have happened.

"Damon, I-I'm sorry." My gaze fell to the space between us. Why did I act out of instinct? I didn't even think my actions through and now, here I am, feeling completely disgusted with myself for having sex with Luca that night.

With a shake to his head, he lifted my chin. "No... don't say you're sorry. It's... it's okay. I was the cause of the pain you were feeling that night you spent with Luca and then I blamed you for it. I'm the one who's sorry."

His apology didn't take away my disgust, but the past was the past. No matter how much I regretted it, I couldn't take it back. We'd both have to live with our actions.