Coffee & Nerves (boyxboy)

[18] Wasted Kisses

"You have no idea the things you do to me"

He's no longer laughing and those whispered words send shivers up my spine.

He looks at me expectantly, but my mouth just opens and closes like a fish as I gape at him with wide eyes. After I fail to respond, he pushes off the floor and stands up.

I stay on the floor in the same crouched position, his large form towering over me, while I'm too dumbstruck to move.

"So do me a favor..." he says lowly with his back to me. My eyes just stare at him as he walks to the door.

As his hand reaches for the doorknob, he pauses and turns his head to glance at the floor by my feet.

"...and stay the hell away from me."

The venomous words feel like several stabs straight to the heart.

He opens the door and exits without sparing me a single glance.

His blank stare seems permanently etched into my brain, my mind replaying the memory of his hazel eyes softening only to harden again after I failed him.

I failed him. I failed Jack Summers.

And it hurts. It hurts more than it should. It's not my fault he's an overly sensitive jackass that can't handle any form of rejection because of his humongous ego. I did nothing wrong. I owe him nothing. He deserves no apology from me. If anything, he should apologize to me. Apologize for acting so temperamental. Apologize for acting so weird whenever he's around me. Apologize for f--ing up my feelings, messing with my emotional stability. Apologize for making me fall for him.

Him, a straight guy.

He should apologize. He should apologize for those hazel eyes igniting such a burning desire inside of me. Apologize for making me think that maybe he wasn't too good for my nerdy self. Apologize for being such a mystery.

I reach up to massage my temples and realize I've been crying. My face is wet with tears. So much for squeezing answers out of Jack. I only made things more complicated. Well, it wasn't really me. It was him. He's the reason I'm curled up on my bedroom floor right now, crying even though I hate externally displaying my emotions.

This is not normal for me.

To let my emotions take over and cloud my judgment. I usual isolate myself enough that I don't have any chances of getting hurt. It seems I've failed. I not only failed Jack, I failed myself.

I feel too hurt to go to school the next day. I'm a good student and I hate missing school unless it's completely necessary, but today is just not a day that I can handle facing school. I'm coming down with a cold anyways. Turns out spending an erroneous amount of time in the freezing rain increases your chances of getting sick. Who knew?

Maggie and Rohan are in my room right now, having come to my house with a thoughtful care package full of treats and cough drops. They're updating me on everything that I missed in the 8 hours I wasn't present at school. I'm not listening, though, because I'm thinking about the messy-hair mystery boy that I want to punch in the face for some reason. But I also don't want to be on bad terms with the annoying Jack Summers. I know I'm going to face him at some point, especially since we are co-parenting Max.

Max.

I've totally forgotten about Max. That's not good. But he's not a problem. Dealing with Max is the last of my priorities. I know that makes me sound like a jack-ss, but Jack is going to ruin so many aspects of my life if he gets the chance and is angry enough. Both of which are very likely. So I have to focus on that. But how?

How am I expected to make things better when he told me to 'stay the hell away from him?'

I shouldn't want to be on good terms with Jack now, though. I succeeded in my plan. I mean, isn't this what I wanted? As much distance between us as possible? Yes, but not like this. Ugh, I really hate my indecisive ass right now.

"Spencer- are you even listening?" Maggie asks, jarring me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, you were saying something about..."

"A party. The most legendary party ever happened last night," Maggie exclaims excitedly.

Rohan snorts, "As if you would know."

Her face turns red as she insists, "I hear things... and see things," trying to defend her honor while scratching her neck nervously.

I decide to interrupt a possible argument between the two.

"It's the first day of school and people decide to already start partying?" I ask with disdain at the fact people could be so inconsiderate to the quality of their education.

"I guess they're trying to start out the year on a good note?" Rohan suggests skeptically.

"I'm not sure getting wasted to just make out with random people then throw up everywhere is starting out on a good note," Maggie points out.

"Which imbecile in our school populous is stupid enough to do that?" I ask.

"Imbeciles," Maggie corrects me, emphasizing the 's'.

Rohan nods his head in agreement, then interjects, "And to answer your question: Eli Worsch, Nedim Chambers, Maddie Hornet, that new kid Jack Summers, that other new kid Hannah Bennett," he starts listing them off on his fingers.

"W-wait," I interrupt Rohan, "Hold up... Jack Summers?"

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AN: Sorry it took so long to update. (AKA 5 days)

I had quite the scare when this book disappeared for almost 48 hours and I only had bits and pieces of old drafts saved in my google docs.

But we're back!

The votes and comments honestly make me feel amazing and inspire my creativity. I couldn't do it without your love and support, so thank you so much. I can't wait to give you quality writing and new books and editing versions and so many other things!!!

Happy Sunday (or Monday, depending on your time zone)

Love,

Leah