The Aliveagainers

3 - Gone

Through the darkened hallways I move, paddin' quiet as I can across the carpet. I think how odd it is that us livin' are so quiet yet them dead ones always makin' so much noise.

Those first days was loud.

I ain't never heard so much noise. All hollerin' and screamin' and all sorts of awful things you ain’t never want to hear. Mommas cryin' for their babies and men all shoutin' and yellin'.

I'd been at work, finishin' up my shift stackin' the shelves when it seemed to start.

At first, I thought it was someone had been stabbed or shot. People all around usually were chattin' away, talkin' politely with each other or makin' small talk at the cashier. Then some voices came up a bit louder and I distinctly remember hearin' a whole lot of phones ringin' at the same time and I knew.

I just knew it was bad.

A siren had screamed as a cop car flew by and I remember my heart skippin' a beat. Every time I seen a cop since my time at Corrigan I felt all wary. They'd kept me locked up for three years and it was plain hell. Well, I thought it was hell.

After that cop drove by, there was a bit of screamin' outside and that really got everyone spooked. My manager came by and told me to come help, make myself goddamn useful and try to calm the folks down. I was sayin' to this ol' lady it was probably some accident but the police was here and they'd have it all ok in a minute. I remember the lady was scared and she was even tremblin' a little so I had took her hand in mine to hold it and I told her I'd get her a glass of water. She'd nodded but then when I went to go she just looked at me like she was beggin' me not to.

Then we heard a crash – like a bus or a truck hit somethin' – and the screams got all crazy. Another couple of cop cars drove by and a fire engine and then we saw some people runnin'. Somehow that just seemed the craziest part of all. I mean you hear sirens and screams and sometimes crashes and bangs. But you ain't never see people just runnin' in their suits and regular clothes down the main street in the middle of the day. Some guy in the mornin’ wearin’ his fancy Nike gear, sure. But the same guy in his suit? Somethin’s messed up for sure.

They was runnin' like the devil himself was hot on their tails.

Then there was the explosion. I ain't sure what it was, and I guess I'll never know, but it was somethin' big. A plane or maybe one of them oil trains or a tanker but somethin' just boomed and the whole buildin' shook and that was it. Up to that second I was thinkin', It's ok, it's just some bad accident or some idiots robbin' a bank or somethin'.

But then that ol' lady clenched my hand real tight and looked at me like she was just sayin’, Please not here.

I ain’t never been good at talkin’ so just stood there, holdin’ her hand, but then she just pulled away and ran right out the door. I knew then I better get goin’ myself. I started runnin’.

I've been runnin' since.

I pass by a doorway, seein' a big pile of splintered wood all over the floor. The carpet here has a real stink to it and it’s stained and soaked. Just all covered in blood. There's too much blood, and it's everywhere. Floors, walls, ceilin's even.

I come to the stairwell and take a breath. Openin' doors is always scary. Not knowin' what’s on the other side. I keep my hands on the spray can and open it, seein' nothin but the stairs all bleak and covered in trash. I run up as fast as I can, feelin' bad I left the boy so long. He'll be frettin' now.

And that damn girl next door will maybe still be cryin' and whimperin'. I've put her in another room as she was strikin' out some in her sleep. One time she grabbed my arm so hard and tight it felt like her nails would cut right through me. I rub at the mark.

I come up to level five. Ain't no door here, it's been smashed out. Down the hall it's quiet. She must be sleepin'. I step by the spilled over cart and I reach down to grab another towel, figurin' I should just take 'em all but still feelin' like I stealin' again.

I get to the room and look at the door. Shut. I lean in close and see the little slip of paper on the floor. I grab it and slide it under the door, movin' it back and forth real quick. It's my signal. I told the boy not to open the door for no one else if they ain't do the signal.

I wait.

Somewhere far away, outside, there's some noise. I ain't sure what it is. Sounds like some animal breathin'. It's faint but I know it's not good.

He's takin' too long.

I look down the hallway. In the half-light it’s like a tunnel. Somewhere at the end is… somethin’.

I slide the paper back and forth, riskin' it to make a bit of noise. It glides across the carpet, the faintest of sounds as it scrapes against the bottom of the door.

From the hallway it comes. Whispers as crisp and cold as ice, spillin' down towards me.

Then the lock clicks, quietly but fully. I see the handle turn and the door opens.

And then I'm lookin' right at the boy, his big, brown eyes starin' into mine. And I think about how I was almost gonna leave him and I feel so disappointed in myself.

"You were gone a long time," he whispers almost silently, mouthin' the words.

"Sorry, baby, I just had to check on a few things," I say as my eyes well up.

"I thought they got you," he says. The silvery trail of a tear graces his round cheek.

"They ain't gonna get me," I say. “Hey, gimme that tear, you.”

He blinks as I rub it away. 

I stand up, pushin' him half inside, not wantin' to scare him but I want us both inside quick.

"No one’s gonna get me. I got you lookin' after me."

He leans in and hugs me and he's shakin' again. I half carry him, half drag him in my arms and I want to squeeze him so tight but he's so frail and light, a whisper of what a boy should be.

Know you were there, I'm gonna take …….. rip …….. trip

I hurry him inside, not even lookin’ back down that hallway.