Finding Faith [Destiel Love Story]

Chapter 15

Four days passed by. The angel didn't returned home, but it wasn't like Dean was waiting for him or anything. Except that he was.

Dean had gotten so used to having Castiel around that it still felt weird without him. The angel used to follow him to work for god's sale. He watched Dr. Sexy, M.D. with him, and he fucking enjoyed it. Unlike Sam, who had always made fun of Dean for liking such a feminine tv show.

So, okay, maybe Dean was lonely. But his anger overpowered that feeling.

The worst part of not having Castiel there with him, he concluded, had to be eating alone. It was too quiet without the ex-angel commenting on the exact taste of the food, instead of it just tasting molecular and acidic. He liked it when Castiel enjoyed the food that Dean made, because Sam was so used to it that he didn't appreciate Dean's cooking efforts. Portion sizes were a lot more difficult for Dean now that he only had to feed himself.

After another three days of Dean moping around, stubbornly pretending Castiel never existed in the first place, he finally gave in.

It was a dark night, the moon barely peeking through gaps in the clouds. Dean had seated himself on one of the chairs in his backyard, beer in hand, staring up at the sky.

He took a huge gulp of beer and prepared himself for what he had to say.

"Hey, Cas..." he started out. He could see his breath, floating upward and then disappearing into the night. "I don't know if you can even hear me. You've somehow got enough juice in there to fly off, so tapping into your angel radio is kind of just a shot in the dark." Stopping himself before he spilled everything he was thinking, Dean downed another few swigs. "I, uh... I know I'm the reason everything's falling to shit. I know you're probably still mad at me. I know that... somehow, for some reason, I'm more than just a job to you. I know that you were right. About me being selfish. But I also know-" he stopped, swallowed another large gulp, and took a deep breath. "I know that just 'cause you love someone, doesn't mean you should try and guilt trip them into staying with you. But, damn it, Cas..." He looked down at his feet. "You're family. I might be screwing up your life for my own selfish reasons, but I need you."

He set the bottle onto the small table next to him and leaned forward. Elbows on knees, eyes glancing from star to star, he sat there for a full minute. Nobody came. He hung his head and sighed. "Don't make me say it, man," he muttered.

More silence.

Dean glanced back up to the sky. "You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"

A cricket could clearly be heard from one of the bushes.

"Fine." He licked his lips, swallowed a lump in his throat, and then closed his eyes. "Being with you... That's my wish." He scrunched up his nose, feeling disgusted with himself. "Happy now?"

There was a distinct ruffle of feathers coming from in front of him. His eyes flew open and he'd never jumped out of a chair so fast.

Castiel stood, eyes narrowed, staring at him.

Dean smiled. "Damn, am I glad your radio's still tuned in."

"Dean, I would advise that you think carefully before you restate your wish."

"Come on, man, I really have to say it again?"

Castiel nodded.

"Cas, I need you. And if you're willing to stay, then I want you to say..." he trailed off. "But if you'd rather be living it up in paradise, I don't blame you. I'll think of another wish."

With a confidence Dean only remembered ever seeing on Castiel when he was fighting, the ex-angel walked up to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. He pulled him down into a kiss, and Dean was brought back to the first time they'd been so close together. He didn't want to think of a time where he'd fucked everything up.

Determined not to make this a rerun of last time, Dean pressed closer to him. He could feel a surge of comfort and warmth fill the emptiness he hadn't known was there in the first place.

The kiss ended too quickly.

"So," Dean said. "If you can't use your grace to clean yourself up, how could you still teleport and shit?"

Castiel looked down, but didn't move from where he was still holding onto the man. "I needed to harness my grace," he explained. "Using it all up would have resulted in a much faster fall. I... wanted to stay an angel for as long as I could."

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm staying."

Dean blinked. "What?"

Castiel looked up at him. "I'm no longer an angel. I doubt now that my fall had anything to do with you not having a wish. I'm almost certain that I had until the day you died to fulfil my duties. I fell from grace because I fell for you. Subconsciously I must have been pushing my celestial waves farther away from me, to give me a better chance at a normal life with you." He glanced to the side. "Well, as normal as it could be, considering what you and I have been through, together and otherwise."

"You're giving up your angelic status for me?" Dean said. "Cas, you've been an angel for an amount of time I can't even begin to wrap my head around and you're giving it all up for one person?"

"You're worth more than what heaven has to offer."

Dean didn't believe him, but he decided that it would have ended badly if he'd said anything against that statement. Instead, he leaned in for another, shorter kiss. "You really want to stay here? With me?"

"Yes."

"You'll never get your powers back."

"I'm well aware of that."

"And you're not getting another chick-flick moment out of me for at least another five years."

Castiel smiled. "I love you, too."