Chapter 18: All I Loved, I Loved Alone

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My love,
Don't walk so fast
Don't go too far out
my heart's tied to your fingers
and there're places I can't follow.

"Kai, look at this," I laughed, walking out of my room to Kai's room. He was on his bed with his phone pressed to his ear. "Who you talking to?"

"Jessica," He cleared his throat, I smirked at him. "Nina says hi," He spoke to Jessica, even though I didn't say anything at all. He waited a few minutes until she replied. "Jessica says hi and that she wants to meet soon."

"Tell her to drop by," I smiled, dropping my body on his bed, lying next to him. I heard her voice through the phone and when Kai answered, I heard the slight hint of joy in his voice. I couldn't help but smile.

It was a recent thing but not because it was recent did it mean it wasn't real or that it was a fling. Kai seemed to really like her, like he was actually interested in having a relationship with her. I didn't know about her but sometimes whenever she came over, she looked smitten by him. I couldn't understand it because it was Kai, I met the boy when he was sticking a snot in this other boy's back because he cut the line and went before him to grab lunch.

Disgusting, I know.

I really hoped the best for him if being with her was what she wanted.

"I'll call you later, when you finish work?" He asked, laying on his side, supporting his head and keeping his phone pressed to his ear with his left hand, meanwhile, he tried to get this thick index finger inside my nose. I wiggled away from his prying fingers but he managed to get closer and closer every single damn time. "Alright, be careful. Yeah. Aha. Bye."

"Somebody's catching feelings," I sang, slapping his hand away. I looked at him just in time to see him rolling his eyes.

"Fuck off," He groaned, laying on his stomach and burying his face on his pillow. "What did you want to show me."

I took my phone back out, just when Peanut jumped on his bed and climbed on Kai's back to later lay down to sleep.

"I hate your cat."

"Our cat."

"Why do you have to be a cat lesbian?" He groaned but I could see right through his façade, he was trying really hard not to move and annoy Peanut.

"You and I both know we couldn't take care of a dog," I sighed, opening my messages and looking for my mum's contact, I gave him the phone for him to read. "Look."

I could see the way his face went from unamused to interested to then end up with a small smile on his face. "This is good, isn't it?"

"Very good." I smiled and grabbed my phone from him.

I looked down at my screen and I read through my messages with my mum.

After I moved, I sent her a bunch of text, I knew she read them but she didn't reply, she just read them. After the first month, she'd reply with two-word answers like you too, good morning, good night, be careful and so on. A few weeks after she began to pick up a conversation, asking me about Kai and my job, wondering if I'm eating every day, if I'm showering every day, if I'm cleaning the house and watering my plans, washing the rice before cooking. A few months in, she subtly asked me about Ceci and I told her Ceci was doing fine, she told me she saw Ceci at the town's supermarket and Ceci told her she had seen me a few days before. That was when Ceci came to see me.

Later on, my mum began to send me pictures of new plants she had, I sent her a picture of the bamboo we had, she went and got herself one. I sent her pictures Peanuts and she told me her brother was allergic to cat hair. It was weird, Mum never talked about her brother. He died when she was 12, she barely said his name. Actually, I only found out she had a brother when I was 12, when granddad showed me a picture.

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