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L I L YW E D N E S D A Y

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L I L Y
W E D N E S D A Y

As i'm sitting on Mason's bed, which I guess is also my bed now, my mind wanders back to everything that's happened since I met him.

I had my first crush, my first kiss, my first boyfriend.

My first love.

I really do trust Mason, but the thought of telling him what he did to me, terrifies me. What if he doesn't love me once he knows? What if he thinks i'm too...gross. Too used.

When I first got back, I honestly didn't trust anybody, males specifically, besides Mason and my father. I've had time to think, and process everything, which is why I know that Alex, Noah, and even Matt won't hurt me. I also know, that if they tried, Mason would be there to protect me.

I want to tell him so badly, but I don't know how.

The bedroom door is suddenly pushed open, and in walks Mason. He walks over with a smile, before leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"What are you up to?" He takes a seat beside me.

I shrug, as I mess with the edge of the blanket wrapped around me. "Just thinking."

He raises an eyebrow. "About what?"

I stay silent, and he must've somehow figured out exactly what I was thinking of, because he then sighs and pulls me into his lap, asking softly, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I let out a shaky breath and slowly nod. "I-I think so."

He sends me a reassuring smile when I glance up at him, and despite what i'm about to say, the look on his face allows me to relax into his arms a little more. "Whenever you're ready."

I open my mouth to say it, but nothing comes out. It's like my mind won't let me.

Mason begins to rub my back soothingly, and he kisses the side of my head. "Take your time, love."

"He hurt me...down t-there." I whisper, while nervously wringing my hands together to hide their shakiness.

As soon as I say those words, I feel his whole body tense up. Meanwhile, I can't stop the tears that continuously roll down my cheeks. It takes him a minute to respond, but when he finally breaks the silence, his voice is filled with disbelief and anger. "He-He raped you?"

I refuse to meet his eyes as I nod.

Before I can stop him, he slides me off of his lap to where i'm now standing, and I immediately regret even bringing the topic up.

I knew he would hate me.

He stands up as well, and immediately begins to pace around the room, mumbling things I can't understand under his breath.

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